This is a global player original podcast.

Welcome, Shaggers. My name is Gordon Smart, the custodian of the Les Mo Hague truck stop, Route 74.

A number of you have been sending pictures recently, and congratulations to all of you who successfully

shat in the showers without getting banned for life.

Meanwhile, back in the real world with clean toilets and healthy behaviour, I'm up and down the road,

London, Manchester and Scotland,

having a wild old time as the decreasing number of jobs gogs.

We started on 10, we're working our way down,

and frankly, behind the scenes,

it looks like there are going to be even fewer over the next couple of months,

but that's for another day.

Because today we're going to turn the attention to the clown in this operation.

The beautiful, the gorgeous, the pouting, Malteseer eyes himself, the one and only,

pocket rocket, as we always say, the ice cream aisle of the supermarket.

He is the charisma in the world that I need right now.

It's the one and only, darling of the media in Scotland, the wonderful actor of staging screen, the voice of many expensive whiskey adverts.

It's Martin.

Theodore Comston.

All right, Teddy?

I think many of the theatre directors of Scotland would argue with that point.

I don't think I've ever done a fucking play.

But thank you for that lovely introduction.

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