Hey, what's up everybody? It's Doug Stanhope Monday afternoon podcast for today. Sunday the eighth of my

watch. What's going on? After that guy, I fucking said to me, hey, I think Doug Stanhope's doing a little bit of Bill Burr, like by pausing before a word and then overannunciating it. And while I strongly agree that, uh, yeah, I fucking steal a lot of Bill Burr in my daily life. Uh, and I do have to watch that on the podcast just because it's become part of just like if I watched a fucking TV show that much. And I do a Homer Simpson.

Occasionally, yeah, occasionally I do a Bill Burr and I go, oh, fuck, I catch myself on the podcast before I do it. But instead of just going, hey, you're right, dude, I'm just going to fucking start stealing Bill Burr's podcast. I'm just going to fucking steal everything he does. I'm going to fucking take advice emails. I'm going to do that. I'm going to do the exact same fucking ads he does. I'm going to just fucking strip him shamelessly.

And then you go, no, no, no, he's not just dropping a bit of Bill Burr here and there. He's actually fucking robbing him blind. So what? Who gives a fuck? Who you're going to tell?

Is a free podcast? What are you going to? Yeah, I'm going to steal shit. I'm going to do like, uh, if you've been paying attention to the podcast, what Leo Sayer did to a three dog night did to Leo Sayer with last night song, the show must go on.

Not just going to rip it off blind, but I'm going to change the entire meeting, meaning. So I'll use expressions like, uh, that's some cold lotion.

And instead of the meaning he has for his own term, he made up, I'll just, I'll make up a whole new meaning. Oh, that's some cold lotion.

He means like, do you expect one thing and you get some no, I mean like ripping someone off is cold lotion cold lotion means just ripping someone off entirely.

And go, that's not what it meant. It means that on this podcast. All right. I don't have no idea why I started with that.

You get a head of steam here. Yeah. Yeah. I feel good going into this one. Charlie.

Can we just try to not try this cocktail yet? So let's try it. What? When we're taking brave chances like heroes often do. Hey, let me bring that up too. I get a fucking bring up.

Jan Michael Vincent. I had that in my nose like two weeks ago when I saw it. But yeah. Yeah. Uh, so yeah, when we're taking a heroic chances on a cocktail, especially drinking it this full over my laptop. Let me move that. Yeah.

Cheers. Yeah. This is a, I want people in case it's awful and we vomit right on the air. I want to be leaning into the mic. This is won't make us vomit. This is a metropolitan. This is a two parts brandy.

Haven't had a brandy drink yet. Not yet. Uh, with a half a part of Vermouth sweet Vermouth and a little simple syrup and

Fitters. Daniel Marasino. Cherry. I'll always wait for that. Cherry. Please hold.

That's shaking over crushed ice, but uh,

Port through a strainer that fucking dog. I'm going to fucking kick him in the fucking chest like the cat. Please hold.

Do you know how to fucking paint? Do you know how to fucking paint? You're in a fucking paint. Your goddamn claw marks off the goddamn door. Get a fucking brush. I'll fucking, I'll, I'll attach paint brushes to you. And then every time you walk through the door that you scratch on till I come to it, you'll fucking paint it right back to the way it should be.

And bingo bingo man. She's just fucking narrowly avoided another beating. You know what? She's got that eye that's all fucked up because yesterday she had that

She had that goddamn seizure and then plunked her fucking big fat grape down on the sidewalk really hard and smushed it. It made a smushing sound that made everyone sick and raised to 9-1-1.

And uh, yeah, so she woke up not really feeling great about herself this morning because she and you really have to feel fucking awful. If you could see the time and effort.

And most of it pointless wasted time and effort because she's not, yeah, hey, she's not in production. She's never done this before. So yeah, there were a lot of trips to not only

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