As a kid, I never really thought about what my parents must have been like before they had me.

Now, my mom had me very young and she married my stepdad when he was actually quite a bit older than she was.

So I don't really have a strong memory of my parents before I was about 10 years

old. And by the time I was 10, my mom was 30 and my stepdad was 43 years old. So I've always really

only ever known my parents as middle-aged adults. And as I grew up and as I went through middle

school and as I went through high school and

even into college, I never stopped to think about what my parents must have been like when they were

younger. Now, I myself, am 44 years old and I'll turn 45 in just a few months. But I'm realizing

that middle age really sucks. And for everybody out there who is middle age, you know exactly what I'm

talking about. Your body starts to feel funny. It hurts. It doesn't move. It doesn't want to move.

It wakes up slowly. It goes to sleep quickly. Your mind starts to forget things. Your patience

basically goes out the window, whether it's patience for your

kids or patients for your spouse or patients for other drivers, middle age poses so many significant

challenges.

And I'm realizing that my parents were in their middle age when I was still young.

So all of my frustrations with them them from them not paying attention to me,

them not listening to me, them not caring about me, them not showing affection towards me.

They were going through a very shitty time in their life too. Now, I am also a parent of two

children. So I stop and I reflect on the fact that in my middle age years, this kind of suck of time, I'm also leaving

a memory implanted on my kids.

Now, when I was at CIA, CIA talked a lot about the importance of leaving a lasting

impression.

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