Hi everybody. Welcome to the Women's Dating and Confidence podcast. My name is Amber, and today I want to talk to you about roadblocks versus obstacles and dating. Before we get into that, I want to let you know about my

free guide. It's called copy and paste texts for when he's pulling away or acting flaky. It's an

eight-page guide with everything you need to know and the link is in the show notes.

Lastly, if you would like to leave a review on this podcast, you can do so by searching for the podcast in your iTunes app and looking for it as if you're looking for a new podcast.

So Women's Dating and Confidence Podcasts, click the image, scroll down, and then there's an area for you to leave a review.

Thank you so much to everybody who has left a review so far. I'm so excited. I have like 10 podcasts in the making. I've been

especially inspired to create more. So I really appreciate everybody who's listening and

leaving reviews. Okay, so let's talk about obstacles and roadblocks and

dating. So when I do coaching sessions with people, they bring me their obstacles, obviously,

or they let me know about their obstacles. And one of the biggest challenges that I see is identifying

obstacles as roadblocks. So obstacles are things that are challenging to overcome. Roadblocks are

the end of the road. Like you can't move forward, you can't overcome it, it's just done.

And 99.9% of the things that you have in dating are obstacles to overcome and not roadblocks.

When we view something as a roadblock, we feel hopeless, we give up, we stop trying,

we stop showing up, we don't look for solutions at all, and we usually assume that the problem is

us rather than the obstacle in front of us. So, for example, if I have the obstacle of I don't know how to get dates, then if I see it as an obstacle, I think I need to learn how to get dates. If I see it as a roadblock, I just think I don't know how to do that. Something must just not be right

with me. People never ask me out. And it's just the end, like, probably because I'm not good enough

or pretty enough or something else enough. And so I never even look for a solution or maybe just very

little bit dabble and see if one thing that I tried worked. And if it

didn't, I just assume I'm the problem. And so really it's a difference between a growth and a

fixed mindset. So Carol Dweck wrote a book called Mindset. And she writes about the difference between a growth mindset and a

fixed mindset. So a fixed mindset is assuming that you can't grow, you can't change, you can't learn.

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