Dating Advice #3

Psychology In Seattle Podcast

Kirk Honda

Mental Health, Health & Fitness

4.6 • 1.2K Ratings

🗓️ 11 December 2020

⏱️ 136 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Dr. Kirk answers questions on dating. (Part 3)

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Hey Deservant listeners, it's time to continue answering people's questions about dating and relationships.
0:06.8	A while back I asked people to email or to comment about their questions and I got so many that I think this is the fourth
0:14.8	episode in which I'm answering people's questions so let's get to it. This
0:19.2	question is from SAW on YouTube they write I have PTSD from from My husband who isn't any of those things feels like I take it out on him when I am triggered because of my expect because of my past experiences
0:38.7	How do I stop my triggers from affecting my relationship and of comment.
0:44.0	All right, so you believe you have PTSD from being abused in the past
0:51.0	and your husband who was nice and is not abusive feels like you take it on
0:56.6	on him when you're triggered because of your past experiences. Well that wouldn't be
0:59.6	uncommon. We would have to wonder if that is an accurate assessment of you. But in
1:06.6	general, it would be expected that when we go through relational traumas that they're
1:11.2	going to be triggered when we're in an intimate close romantic
1:15.0	relationship.
1:16.1	That's just the way it goes.
1:18.2	And you ask, how do I stop my triggers from affecting my relationship? Well, you approach it from a holistic approach.
1:29.2	You don't, a lot of people just say, I just, you know, I want to, I'm going to try not to be triggered well okay you have
1:35.3	to get therapy and in therapy what you do is you identify the triggers you learn how to
1:42.4	regulate your emotions you learn how to regulate your emotions, you learn how to mitigate or reduce the triggering,
1:47.6	you learn how to regulate your, you know how to notice your emotions regulate and mainly distress.
1:53.2	For a lot of people with PTSD or trauma reactivity, they don't notice that they're triggered
1:59.0	until it's too late.
2:00.7	And so a big part of PTSD management is knowing when, you know, so if we're on a scale from 1 to 10, and by the time you notice you're like an eight or a nine.
2:13.7	The trick is you have to notice when you're a three
	...

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