Hello.

Is your hairstyle stuck in the 80s and your need of hair products that they just don't really sell anymore like a Jerry Curl Activator or maybe moose for your hair styling?

Well, come on down to Miles's Hair Emporium,

where I have a limited stock, but in good supply,

many, many, many vintage hair care products

from at least 30 years ago.

So we have all kinds of stuff.

We have aftershaves.

We have perfumes.

As I said, skin lotions, all dead stock

from the 70s and 80s. And you can get them at an elevated price. Don't actually use them,

though. It's more like for the vibe because they smell like shit apparently. Like this shit can

go back. But they look cool, like if you just want to have them around your house. Anyway,

thank you for having me. I am Sophia Alexandra.

Wow. Welcome. Truly an honor and a privilege. All of those things. Really blessed.

Every day. Bless to have you. Every day. Hello. I am the CEO and owner of vintage, uh, fuck, I forgot the word for, vintage vintage.

Vintage Merkin designs.

Oh, wow.

Would you like to have a real vintage look on your pubes that they just don't do anymore?

Do you want an old set and press and curl situation?

But you don't want to do it on your actual pubes for whatever reason.

It's none of my business.

...