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Cult of Conspiracy

Cult Of Cryptids: The Jersey Devil Spawn of satan 1

Cult of Conspiracy

Jonathon and Jacob

Society & Culture, Philosophy, Comedy

41.4K Ratings

🗓️ 9 August 2025

⏱️ 83 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

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Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Wake up! The Jones is a redo in their garden! Love that porcelain paven and all that fencing. I knew it. They've been with their landscaper to Jusen. A mini-digger! No wonder she was so smug at Zumba! Right, I want a sunken seating area. She won't have that. For materials, tool hire, timber and paving. Don't waste time. Duason's got the lot. Likees, porcelain, paving from only 22 pounds per square meter.

0:22.4

Love it.

0:23.1

All trade prices exclude VAT at 20%.

0:25.9

So now you can keep up with the Joneses.

0:28.0

And the Evanses.

0:29.2

And the Bertels.

0:35.1

Welcome, everybody, to the podcast.

0:41.8

It's true. Welcome, everybody, to the podcast. What's going on, everybody?

0:45.7

I'm from Jersey.

0:46.9

What's happening, folks?

0:49.8

What's going on?

0:50.4

What's going on a fucking problem with that out?

0:52.0

We're going to new freaking Jersey today, huh? What's up? All the host heads out there in hosehead land. It's, uh, it's dangerous New Jersey from what I hear. So I'm going to bring a weapon. My weapon of choice. I got a twee. A twee? A twee. The fuck is it. You have an iced tea. I love those fucking...

1:12.0

Those iced teas.

1:13.5

It's a twisted, baby?

1:14.4

Twisted iced teas are fucking great. Guess what I have? It's a throwback to that dude that got knocked out in the 7-Eleven with a twisted tea. Can you guess what this is? Ah, it's pussy water in ice. It's been a while since I've had a straight up whiskey drink on the podcast, so I think it's about time.

1:13.8

He drinks a whiskey. in ice. It's, uh, it's, it's, it's been a while since I've had a straight up

1:27.5

whiskey drink on the podcast,

1:28.9

so I think it's about time.

1:30.9

He drinks a whiskey drink. He drinks a vodka drink. He's on the floor. And when he has to pee, he uses the kitchen sink. This is it. I can start putting my booze in the background of the, for the YouTube's.

1:24.8

Sentinel,

1:25.6

rye,

...

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