4.8 • 7.7K Ratings
🗓️ 2 November 2022
⏱️ 64 minutes
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0:00.0 | Welcome to the Judge John Hodgman podcast. I'm Bail of Jesse Thorn. This week, |
0:06.6 | crustity hearing. Lila Rose brings the case against her brother, Kumar. They disagree |
0:12.0 | on the best method of making pie crust. Lila Rose believes it's important to keep the ingredients |
0:17.7 | in the freezer. Kumar says, the fridge is just fine. Who's right? Who's wrong? Only one can decide. |
0:25.2 | Please rise as Judge John Hodgman enters the courtroom and presents an obscure cultural reference. |
0:33.6 | Oh, you pie people. You make me laugh. What does pie have going for it? Pie filling? |
0:41.9 | Even the name filling makes it seem like it's not that important to the pie. If you're eating pie |
0:46.1 | filling out of a can, there has been a disaster. You're in an underground bunker and you are |
0:52.0 | running out of food. What you're saying is, okay, here's what's going to happen. First, |
0:55.6 | I'm going to eat that pie filling that I'm going to eat you. Bail of Jesse Thorn, please |
0:59.9 | swear them in. Lila Rose and Kumar, please rise and raise your right hands. Do you swear to tell |
1:05.1 | the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God or whatever? I do. |
1:10.9 | I do. Do you swear to abide by Judge John Hodgman's ruling despite the fact that he prefers |
1:16.0 | home run brand hand pies? It's you. Judge Hodgman, you may proceed. What is a, hang on, you |
1:23.0 | a lot of Rose and Kumar remain standing. What is a home run brand? I don't, you know what a home run |
1:28.0 | pie is? It's the kind that comes in a little sleeve of wax paper at the grocery store. |
1:33.8 | It sounds good. We're in a little pile at the liquor store, the corner store. Is it a sweet pie |
1:38.7 | or a savory pie? It's a sweet pie. What is this Australia? I'd like a little fort pie. |
1:44.6 | I think a little pork pie and a wax sleeve. I actually would enjoy that very much. Wouldn't that be good? |
1:50.4 | I wish I could have a pork pie and a wax sleeve for dinner. But in the meantime, we've got justice |
1:55.3 | to adjudicate Lila Rose and Kumar. You may be seated for immediate summary judgment in one of your |
2:01.5 | favors. Can either of you name the piece of culture I referenced when I entered the courtroom? |
... |
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