Critical Feedback

Dear HBR:

Harvard Business Review

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4.6 • 782 Ratings

🗓️ 21 February 2019

⏱️ 33 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Do you need to get better at giving and receiving feedback? Dan and Alison answer your questions with the help of consultant Ben Dattner. They talk through what to do when your employee wants to give you feedback, your feedback to others doesn't seem to make a difference, or someone who isn't your boss comments about your performance.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome to Dear HBR from Harvard Business Review.
0:03.9	I'm Dan McGinn.
0:04.9	And I'm Alison Beard.
0:12.3	Work can be frustrating, but it doesn't have to be.
0:15.3	We don't need to let the conflicts get us down.
0:17.8	That's where Dear HBR comes in.
0:19.9	We take your questions, look at the research,
0:22.5	talk to the experts, and help you move forward.
0:32.8	Today we're talking about critical feedback with Ben Dattner. He's an executive coach and organizational consultant based in New York.
0:40.0	Ben, thanks for coming on the show.
0:41.6	Thanks for having me. Good to be here.
0:43.3	So Ben, why is it so difficult to both give and get negative feedback?
0:49.6	Well, when you think about feedback, it's sort of the language or the currency conveying to people,
0:55.3	here's what's going well, here's what's not going well. It often confirms our identity for better
1:00.7	or for worse. When giving feedback to someone, it's often as much about the feedback giver as it is
1:07.7	about the feedback receiver. How so?
1:16.2	Well, for example, if a superior says to a subordinate, you don't follow up enough.
1:19.8	The subordinate may well say, you're micromanaging me.
1:22.5	I've always been on the ball.
1:24.4	I've had many bosses in my career.
1:28.8	None of them has ever followed up the way that you do. So this is less about my follow-up and it's more about your need for updates.
1:32.9	Are these conversations difficult even when the boss does a good job of delivering the
	...

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