Creating Intimacy vs. Seeking Validation in Marriage, Exploring our “Shadows” and Narcissism or Emotional Immaturity w/ Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife

The Virtual Couch

Tony Overbay LMFT

Education, Mental Health, Health & Fitness, Self-improvement

5 • 643 Ratings

🗓️ 30 June 2022

⏱️ 64 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife makes her 4th appearance on the Virtual Couch podcast! Tony and Jennifer discuss the difference between coaching and therapy. Jennifer currently offers couples coaching on her “Room for Two” podcast and group coaching along with traditional psychotherapy. They talk about the differences between creating true intimacy vs. seeking validation from others and moving toward self-validation and differentiation (learning how to be autonomous while still maintaining intimacy). They also discuss examples of what a secure attachment looks like in parenting and how we often unconsciously create a dependence on our spouse or our children to feel love. They touch on emotional immaturity vs. narcissism, and they break down what it means to understand our “shadow self” and how bringing our “weakness” out of the shadow can not only be liberating but also allow us to step more confidently into our strengths. Dr. Jennifer teaches couples and individuals how to strengthen their relationships, overcome relational and sexual roadblocks and increase their capacity for intimacy, love, and sexual expression. You can learn more about Dr. Jennifer’s courses, coaching, and her “Room for Two” podcast at http://finlayson-fife.com (http://finlayson-fife.com)Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop (http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop) to sign up for Tony’s “Magnetize Your Marriage” virtual workshop. The cost is only $19. You’ll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com (http://pathbackrecovery.com/) And visit http://tonyoverbay.com (http://tonyoverbay.com/) and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ (https://descript.com/?lmref=bSWcEQ)

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hey, oh, oh, oh, come on and take a seat on the virtual couch.
0:21.6	Hey, everybody.
0:22.3	Welcome to episode 327 of the virtual couch.
0:25.3	And also at the same time, episode 37 of waking up the narcissism.
0:29.6	I'm doing something that I've never done before.
0:31.4	I am going to post this same episode and release it at the same time to both of my podcast. Why? Well, that is because my guest today has
0:40.4	three of the top 10 episodes in terms of overall downloads of the 326 virtual couch episodes
0:46.4	that I have done over the past five years. And I would love for my waking up the narcissism audience,
0:51.0	which I have the numbers now showing that it is a different audience, which is absolutely fascinating. And I would love for them to get to know the guest,
0:59.3	Dr. Jennifer Finless and Fife today as well. And it's because Jennifer truly has a gift of
1:04.8	explaining things and explaining the human condition in a way that I feel like most people
1:09.0	can relate to. And in today's episode,
1:11.3	we talk about so many things. We talk about love versus control. We talk about whether or not
1:16.0	we are honestly looking for intimacy in a relationship or whether we are seeking validation
1:20.3	and how so often because of the way that we were raised or the modeling that we saw early in our
1:26.0	lives. Do we even know what healthy relationships
1:29.1	look like? And on that note, how does one get on that path of knowing what you don't know?
1:34.6	Because how do you know what you don't know? Kind of deep, right? But we also, we do. We touch
1:39.4	on narcissism. We touch on emotional immaturity. We touch on what that looks like maturing out of a narcissistic view of the
1:47.7	world and what that can take. So we just hit on so many different things. And one of my favorite
1:52.9	things to do at getting Dr. Jennifer to laugh a couple of times as well, because she is, I feel like she is a
1:57.3	very funny person, very real person, but man, she can just get in this zone where she just has so much knowledge.
	...

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