"Crazy Joe's" DISCOUNT PARDON WAREHOUSE!

Bill Whittle Network

News

4.9 • 720 Ratings

🗓️ 19 December 2024

⏱️ 2 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

I was originally going to include this as the opener to a more or less standard Hot Mic episode, talking about the 8000+ pardons Joe Biden has already offered; but when it was finished I realized there was nothing I could say to add to how bad it looks and how low it is. Anyway, I had a lot of fun making it.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hi folks, I'm Joe Biden inviting you to come on down to Crazy Joe's discount
0:03.6	pardon warehouse.
0:04.6	We've got big pardons, we've got little pardons.
0:08.2	We've got a pardon to fit every budget.
0:10.4	Whether you're illegally storing tens of thousands of highly classified emails in a rundown
0:13.7	apartment server or just got nab scoring a little recreational crack for the weekend, Crazy
0:18.2	Joe's has the pardon for you.
0:20.0	I guarantee it. We've got new
0:21.8	pardons, used pardons, military surplus pardons, open envelope discount pardons, e-pardons, party
0:27.8	pardons, do-it-yourself pardon kits, and so much more. Nothing says Merry Christmas like a warm,
0:32.8	fuzzy blanket pardon. In the mood for something smaller? Crazy Joe's misdemeanor pardons make great stocking
0:38.7	stuffers. Your kids will love them. And if Dad's been on Santa's naughty list this year, pick up
0:42.9	our economical three-pack. That's right. Buy two pardons and get the third pardon free.
0:47.2	Got a big problem? Crazy Joe's got you covered. Our gold bond premium deluxe pardons come
0:52.4	with open spaces for you to write in the name, criminal charge and dates.
0:55.8	If you're not sure if you need a pardon, you can choose from our gold bond premium deluxe line, save it for a rainy day.
1:00.5	And best of all, they're 100% legal because each Crazy Joe's discount pardon is signed by me personally, Joseph R. Biden, Jr., president of the United States of America.
1:08.5	Good credit, bad credit, no credit, no problem.
1:11.6	We offer in house financing with easy payment terms, and if you are a registered Democrat, you are pre-approved.
1:16.6	So bring the kids and come on down to our factory warehouse.
1:19.6	We're located at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue Northwest, Washington, D.C.
1:23.6	Cash only pleas, and small bills are especially appreciated.
	...

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