Crack an egg on your head, let the yolk run down
Be There in Five
Kate Kennedy
4.8 • 7.1K Ratings
🗓️ 16 July 2020
⏱️ 136 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
This week, you're invited to a virtual bridal shower where Kate reads listeners' funny and cringy stories from our favorite parties where we watch people act SHOCKED to open gifts that they've already picked out. Instead of mourn the absence of these important milestone events, Kate wanted to celebrate them and get excited for their return by reflecting on things like all the off-registry gifts you also wish you could return. She also discusses her fear of women's khakis making a comeback, reflects on the pile of clothing she swears she'll sell on Poshmark, pleads to resist the return of low rise denim, talks through some of her country music conspiracies, and then muses about her happy place: a mid-afternoon luncheon at your godmother's house in the suburbs where the weird compliments about your 'figure' are as prevalent as the soggy Costco pinwheels and ambitiously bite-sized Caprese skewers. Enjoy!
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hi everybody, welcome back to the Be There In Five Podcast, I'm Kate Kennedy, your host. |
| 0:19.1 | I am a Chicago based entrepreneur, author, pop culture commentator podcast host, with |
| 0:26.1 | purposes of this episode. I am a shower enthusiast, bridal or baby, I don't discriminate, |
| 0:34.0 | been to definitely more bridal than baby. For somebody that really resents bathing, I |
| 0:39.7 | sure do love a shower. I actually was looking this up the term shower, where it stems from, |
| 0:45.7 | and I guess it's from when women had parasol, umbrellas, their friends were just like, |
| 0:51.9 | Chuck Toaster ovens at them, you know, they had to protect themselves. |
| 0:56.6 | Also, I just said I hate bathing, you know what I mean? Like, I do it and I don't mind it, but like, |
| 1:02.0 | I hate like, drawing my hair, and also I hate stepping out in the morning when it's cold. |
| 1:09.4 | I just resent the hell out of a cold Chicago winter morning, stepping out of the shower back |
| 1:15.3 | into the cold air, when I've barely shaken off the second hand anxiety from an all-too-vivid |
| 1:20.2 | melatonin-induced dream, and an incomplete REM cycle, probably after spending the previous night |
| 1:25.1 | worrying about my biological clock ticking, followed by some light stalking of the price points of my |
| 1:30.3 | friends' new homes, and suddenly rocking myself to sleep with a slow but steep comparison of |
| 1:34.7 | my life decisions to theirs. Did I just black out anyone else? You know, they say comparison |
| 1:42.4 | as a thief of joy, but I argue, quotes like that, are robbing me of my free will to indulge |
| 1:50.0 | in some guilty comparison now and again, because it's almost a massacastic effort to get myself |
| 1:55.8 | to work a little harder. Yeah, it robs me of joy, but it also fills me with some sort of, |
| 2:03.4 | self-satisfying pity in terms of, well, if I didn't live in a city, well, you know, if I hadn't |
| 2:09.5 | taken the road list around, what was the cost of living in insert random southwestern suburb here? |
| 2:16.6 | Anyway, it's a really productive good use of time, and as a person with a platform, an incredibly |
| 2:22.6 | responsible message for me to be sending. Anyway, we all do it, right? It's whatever. I mean, don't |
... |
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