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Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel

Couples Under Lockdown: New York, New York

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel

Esther Perel Global Media

Society & Culture, Education, Health & Fitness, Mental Health, Self-improvement

4.716.4K Ratings

🗓️ 16 April 2020

⏱️ 46 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

They have three kids and their volatile marriage has fallen apart. She still hopes to rebuild. He can't get out of there fast enough. Two weeks before COVID-19 forced New Yorkers to shelter in place, they filed for divorce. Now they feel trapped. If he goes he risks not seeing his kids for weeks. If he stays he worries it will thwart his plans to finally leave. Esther urges them to think about this present time together and not about what kind of future they will have apart.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

It's such a middle finger in my face in the middle of this horrifying thing that's happening

0:08.1

all over the globe.

0:13.2

None of the couples you are about to hear are ongoing clients of Esther Perel.

0:18.2

For the purposes of maintaining their confidentiality, names and some identifiable characteristics

0:23.4

have been removed.

0:25.0

But their voices and their stories are real.

0:36.7

The relationship is rapidly unraveling.

0:39.5

They've been together for 25 years in a highly reactive volatile relationship and they're

0:46.5

in the midst of a divorce.

0:48.5

I'm scared to death of my wife.

0:51.6

She scares me.

0:53.6

When she's upset, she's to me like a business bond.

0:58.4

Okay.

0:59.4

They live in New York City.

1:02.2

They have been quarantined together for the past two weeks due to COVID-19.

1:07.9

He would like to be anywhere but with his wife at this moment.

1:13.3

Living with someone who has so much contempt for me and feels that I am trying to control

1:19.8

you by asking you to isolate with your family, which is what the governor is asking us to

1:26.8

do.

1:28.6

But he has made a choice out of duty and obligation to be with his family.

1:33.9

But it's certainly not what he wants and he reminds her that constantly.

1:38.8

Like two weeks ago, I had to get pediatrician, child therapist, everybody to explain to him

...

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