meta_pixel
Tapesearch Logo
Log in
The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Coronavirus Updates - Pfizer Fiasco, Public Shaming in South Africa & Santa's Immunity

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Comedy Central

Comedy, Daily News, News

4.413.5K Ratings

🗓️ 20 December 2020

⏱️ 14 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

The Trump administration rejected an opportunity to buy more vaccine doses from Pfizer, South African police shame maskless citizens, and the WHO declares Santa Claus immune from COVID-19.

Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.com

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

You're listening to Comedy Central.

0:10.5

The United Kingdom, America's a strange dad.

0:13.6

Today, the UK began giving its people the vaccine.

0:18.4

Yeah, officially, starting with a 90-year-old woman, which is great for her.

0:23.6

Although, on the other hand, she's the only person in the whole country who's now safe to go out.

0:28.5

So she's just going to be out hitting the club like,

0:30.5

woo! Well, my party goes out seriously. Where's everybody?

0:35.9

Meanwhile, in the United States, it might take a little longer for everyone to get vaccinated.

0:39.9

Because somebody, and I'm not saying which president, well, he don't f*** up.

0:46.4

With cases of COVID surging across the country, we're learning

0:49.9

millions of Americans may now have to wait months longer to receive a vaccine.

0:54.2

Because the US opted to get fewer doses from Pfizer than it could have.

0:58.4

The US bought enough to vaccinate 50 million Americans.

1:01.7

By contrast, the European Union bought enough for 100 million people with an option to buy more.

1:07.4

Now, ABC News confirms the New York Times report that over the summer,

1:11.3

Pfizer offered to sell the US government additional doses,

1:14.5

but the Trump administration turned them down.

1:16.8

Now, Pfizer says it might not be able to get the US more doses until June of 2021.

1:24.6

That's the art of the deal right there, baby.

1:26.4

Pfizer thought that they could pull a fast one on Trump by offering to sell him life-saving vaccines,

1:32.0

but my man Trump was like, no deal.

1:34.6

So now, Europe is stuck with all those vaccines, and that means more corona

...

Please login to see the full transcript.

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Comedy Central, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of Comedy Central and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.

Copyright © Tapesearch 2025.