Coronadivorces
Let's Know Things
Colin Wright
4.8 • 593 Ratings
🗓️ 5 May 2020
⏱️ 33 minutes
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Summary
This week we talk about limerence, China’s divorce spike, and nuclear families.
We also discuss coronarelationships, amatonormativity, and marriage.
This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit letsknowthings.substack.com/subscribe
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | In 1979, the psychologist Dorothy Tenov wrote a book entitled Love and Limerence, The Experience of Being in |
| 0:24.1 | Love. The term limerence was coined by Dr. Tenov for this book, as there wasn't a succinct |
| 0:30.6 | English word that accurately or fully described the effects she'd discovered in her research work |
| 0:36.9 | over the preceding two decades. |
| 0:39.3 | Namely, there wasn't a word for a type of adoration and borderline or literal obsession with another |
| 0:46.5 | person, which can bring with it a full range of emotions and internal experiences, |
| 0:51.4 | from euphoria to despair, to manic happiness, to a desire for vengeance |
| 0:57.0 | when these feelings are not reciprocated, or are not reciprocated in the way the person experiencing |
| 1:03.2 | limerence would prefer. |
| 1:05.7 | Limerence has, in the years since, as it's become a topic of scientific interest and inquiry, at times been |
| 1:12.3 | described as the nightmare version of love. But part of what makes it such an interesting |
| 1:18.0 | topic of investigation is that there would seem to be hints of limerence in many of our |
| 1:23.2 | relationships and crushes and even fandoms, as this aspect of the broader concept of love or |
| 1:29.6 | appreciation has been linked to certain brain patterns and behaviors that we can now point at and |
| 1:34.9 | say, here's what's causing this particular feeling, and here's why we feel it, which is not |
| 1:40.4 | easy to do with something more vague and subjective, like the fuzzier concept of love in general. |
| 1:48.2 | Research has connected limerence to attachment theory, which posits that a great many of the psychological stresses we face |
| 1:56.0 | are connected to the creation and disillusion of various sorts of relationships in our lives, |
| 2:02.7 | but it's also been connected to the process of self-actualization, |
| 2:06.4 | subconscious processes related to randiness and addiction, |
| 2:10.7 | and to some of the underlying mechanisms that show up in people who suffer from obsessive-compulsive disorders. |
| 2:23.3 | In those latter cases, people experiencing measurable levels and duration of limerence, meaning they felt obsessed with someone long enough, that they were able to be tested on their state of mind, |
... |
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