Coping with Failure, and Dealing with Disappointment

Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson

Being Well

Education, Self-improvement, Health & Fitness, Mental Health

4.8 • 2.7K Ratings

🗓️ 28 February 2022

⏱️ 54 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

One of the most important skills we can develop is the ability to deal with disappointment and cope with failures big and small. On this episode of Being Well, Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson discuss what it looks like to experience failure not as falling short, but as an opportunity for growth. They explore cultural narratives around "failure," individual variation in sensitivity, and how to manage the pain of failure, adapt expectations, and develop systems of feedback to allow for a greater sense of ease and purpose. Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 2:00: What do we mean by failure? 5:55: How loss works in the brain and what makes us sensitive to losing 8:30: Managing expectations of success 10:30: Attributional styles 13:10: How some can handle failure with greater ease than others 22:30: Deconstructing old narratives and failure as an opportunity for learning 28:30: Managing the pain of failure and setting up feedback systems 34:20: An example from Forrest’s experience 38:20: Poor decisions, lack of foresight, losing your nerve 40:30: Willingness to take risks 45:00: Defining our notion of success and failure via process vs. outcome 48:20: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Have a question for us? Email: contact@beingwellpodcast.com to submit questions or potential topics you'd like us to explore in future episodes. Sponsors: Visit athleticgreens.com/BEINGWELL to take ownership over your health, and pick up the ultimate daily nutritional insurance! Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Discover your full genetic potential by uploading your existing DNA test results at gemonelink.io. No trial period, no credit card, and no hidden fees! Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hello and welcome to Being Well, I'm Forest Hanson.
0:10.4	If you're new to the podcast, this is where we explore the practical science of last and
0:14.7	well-being.
0:15.7	And if you've listened before, welcome back.
0:18.7	Even in the course of a pretty challenging life, most people have many opportunities to
0:23.8	experience success.
0:25.6	Have good days, pick up small wins, and generally feel like they're on the right track.
0:30.2	Or at least that they've given things their best shot.
0:33.1	And even in the course of a pretty good life, most people experience many small defeats.
0:38.8	This can include everything from being a bit light to an obligation with a friend,
0:43.0	flubbing a worker's school assignment, or even knowing that you'd like someone who
0:47.6	maybe doesn't reciprocate your feelings.
0:50.4	It can also scale up to big picture experiences where somebody looks around at their life
0:54.8	as a whole and goes, wow, this just isn't what I had in mind.
1:00.1	One of the most important skills we can develop is the ability to deal with disappointment
1:04.4	and cope with failures big and small.
1:06.9	That's where we're going to be focusing on today and to help us do that.
1:09.8	I'm joined as usual by Dr. Rick Hanson, Rick as a clinical psychologist, a best-selling
1:14.6	author, and he's also my dad.
1:16.9	So dad, I took a look through our episode archives and I was actually kind of shocked
1:22.0	that we've never focused explicitly on this topic before, obviously an enormous failure.
1:29.5	A real miss on our part.
	...

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