If you have followed me on my blog in the past, you've probably read that I believe

dog training is like a conversation with a friend.

Challenges happen with that conversation when we don't like the answer that our friend

is giving and we end up trying to change the question. Hi, I'm Susan Garrett. Welcome to

Shape by Dog. Today, we're doing a deep dive into the unconscious habit some of us have

of trying to control the dog. I'm also going to share with you this quick and catchy

acronym that I use to explain four questions that I ask myself constantly in my own dog

training that I ask my students to ask themselves in their dog training. But first,

let's talk about that conversation.

Let's say you ask your dog to sit. Now, the only way that your dog can keep the conversation

going is with his actions, action of compliance or action of noncompliance. Now, the conversation

from our end has got to be one of curiosity

from complete neutrality, meaning without judgment, and we need to accept the answer our dog

is giving us. But we can't. We end up trying to control the dog. So, we say, sit, sit, sit, sit. Then that goes back to the old

philosophy that we are the master and he must listen. That dog must obey. We are dominant.

And it's their role in life to listen to us. Now, imagine if you had a boyfriend that

treated you like that, how good would that relationship be? What if you had a coworker that

maybe was in a higher pace scale than you and treated you like that? How good would that

relationship be? Or a spouse? You see,

relationships, whether they be with dogs, with siblings, with coworkers, with people who work

for you, nothing changes. Our conversations need to be coming from a place of neutrality

without judgment and with a great deal of curiosity

...