Conversations with My Dead Mother

Death, Sex & Money

Slate Audio

Careers, Sexuality, Business, Health & Fitness, Relationships, Society & Culture

4.6 • 7.7K Ratings

🗓️ 12 October 2022

⏱️ 34 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Rachel Matlow’s mother refused to get the surgery that could have saved her. That often left her and Rachel trying to love each other while bitterly at odds. You can listen to the full audio piece Rachel made here, and order their memoir here. Did you know we have a weekly email newsletter for the Death, Sex & Money community? Every Wednesday we send out podcast listening recommendations, fascinating letters from our inbox, and updates from the show. Sign up at deathsexmoney.org/newsletter, and follow the show on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. Got a story to share? Email us at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	I think she rejected surgery because she was afraid.
0:04.0	Like she was more terrified than she'd ever been.
0:07.0	And these miracle cures gave her hope.
0:09.0	Like they were an escape hatch from facing her fears head on.
0:17.0	This is Death, Sex, and Money.
0:21.0	The show from WNYC about the things we think about a lot.
0:26.0	I need to talk about more.
0:29.0	I'm Anna Seo.
0:37.0	Rachel Matlow is a 42-year-old non-binary writer and audio producer who lives in Toronto.
0:43.0	In 2015, their mom Elaine died from cancer.
0:47.0	Cancer that Rachel's mom decided not to treat with conventional medicine.
0:53.0	Rachel wrote a book about loving and arguing with their mom through those end-of-life choices.
0:59.0	And it's a wonderfully honest, painful and somehow also quite funny book called Dead Mom Walking.
1:07.0	A memoir of miracle cures and other disasters.
1:11.0	How long does it feel like your mom's been gone?
1:15.0	I mean, that's...
1:19.0	I think it does feel like it's been seven years.
1:24.0	But sometimes it feels like I wouldn't be surprised if she just walked in the door.
1:31.0	I don't think about her every day.
1:36.0	I think about her a lot, but I don't know if I think about her every single day.
1:39.0	Like I used to.
1:41.0	So in that way, she feels a bit distant.
	...

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