Contracts of Love & Money That Make or Break Relationships | James Sexton

Huberman Lab

Scicomm Media

Science, Health & Fitness, Life Sciences

4.8 • 26.2K Ratings

🗓️ 5 May 2025

⏱️ 218 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

My guest is James Sexton, Esq., a renowned attorney specializing in contracts related to love and money—prenuptial agreements, divorce and custody. We explore the counterintuitive fact that people with prenuptial agreements tend to stay married longer and report more satisfying relationships than those who don’t. We discuss how legal contracts can foster deeper understanding by encouraging vulnerability and honest communication about each partner’s values and expectations. We also examine what defines true, lasting love versus generic romantic ideals—and how social media can distort our understanding of what we truly need. Additionally, we review how cultural traditions, gender dynamics, courtship length, and age at the time of marriage shape marital outcomes. This episode offers practical tools for anyone—single or partnered—to build more successful and stable relationships through deeply honest dialogue and contracts that reflect genuine values around love and money. Read the episode show notes at hubermanlab.com. Thank you to our sponsors AG1: https://drinkag1.com/huberman Wealthfront**: https://wealthfront.com/huberman BetterHelp: https://betterhelp.com/huberman Our Place: https://fromourplace.com/huberman Function: https://functionhealth.com/huberman **This experience may not be representative of the experience of other clients of Wealthfront, and there is no guarantee that all clients will have similar experiences. Cash Account is offered by Wealthfront Brokerage LLC, Member FINRA/SIPC. The Annual Percentage Yield (“APY”) on cash deposits as of December 27,‬ 2024, is representative, subject to change, and requires no minimum. Funds in the Cash Account are swept to partner banks where they earn the variable‭ APY. Promo terms and FDIC coverage conditions apply. Same-day withdrawal or instant payment transfers may be limited by destination institutions, daily transaction caps, and by participating entities such as Wells Fargo, the RTP® Network, and FedNow® Service. New Cash Account deposits are subject to a 2-4 day holding period before becoming available for transfer. Timestamps 00:00:00 James Sexton 00:02:19 Divorce & Breakups, Men vs Women, Perception; Infidelity 00:12:04 Sponsors: Wealthfront & BetterHelp 00:14:41 Contracts, Business, Marriage Celebration, Prenups 00:26:24 Nesting; Prenups, Creating Rulesets 00:33:56 Prenups & Strengthening Marriage 00:38:19 Marriage Traditions; Divorce Rates, Religion 00:44:44 First vs Second Marriages, Love & Impermanence 00:50:09 Sponsors: AG1 & Our Place 00:53:53 Contracts, Relationships & Hard Conversations 01:02:37 Marriage & Underlying Problems, Love, Successful Marriages 01:16:27 Ideals, Social Media & Advertising, Simplicity, Dogs 01:27:33 Sponsor: Function 01:29:26 Intimacy, Tool: Early Framework for Hard Discussions 01:37:06 Prenup Consultation, Legal Defaults, Reasons for Marriage 01:47:37 Alimony, Prenups & Creating Rulesets, Yours, Mine & Ours, Adultery, Pets 02:02:30 Fond Memories & Ending Relationship, Pain, Divorce 02:12:49 Social Media, Movies & Ideals, Pornography vs Real Sexual Relationships 02:22:43 Revealing Flaws, Bravery, Prenups & Expectations, Money 02:37:49 Bravery, Vulnerability, Relationship Changes, Men vs Women, Marriage 02:47:11 Relationship Sacrifices, Men & Women; Prenups, Government 02:54:45 Life Milestones, Early vs Late Marriage, Navigating Challenges 03:01:38 Courtship Period & Marital Outcomes 03:10:12 Knowing Self & Partner, Vulnerability 03:16:58 "Postnup", Rekindling or Ending Relationships, Tool: Leave a Note 03:26:41 Heartbreak & Love, Divorce; Acknowledgements 03:34:45 Zero-Cost Support, YouTube, Spotify & Apple Follow & Reviews, Sponsors, YouTube Feedback, Protocols Book, Social Media, Neural Network Newsletter Disclaimer & Disclosures

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	Welcome to the Huberman Lab podcast, where we discuss science and science-based tools for everyday life.
0:08.9	I'm Andrew Huberman, and I'm a professor of neurobiology and ophthalmology at Stanford School of Medicine.
0:15.3	My guest today is James Sexton.
0:17.6	James Sexton is a renowned attorney with over 25 years of experience in family law,
0:22.3	specializing in prenuptial agreements and divorces. He is known as what many call the voice
0:27.3	of reason between love and legal. Today, we discuss something that might seem counterintuitive,
0:32.0	which is how the legal frameworks and contracts surrounding relationships, particularly
0:36.3	prenuptial agreements, can actually
0:38.7	deepen emotional connection and build trust between partners. As James points out, intimacy and trust
0:43.9	are fundamentally about the ability to be your true self with your partner and them with you.
0:48.5	It's about allowing ourselves to be vulnerable. It's also about having a same team spirit,
0:52.6	of course, respect for one another,
0:54.3	and admiration for each other's unique qualities. Today we explore how prenuptial agreements,
0:59.3	which most often are viewed as being unromantic or pessimistic, can actually serve as ways
1:04.0	to establish a sense of safety for both people and prevent many common conflicts and misunderstandings.
1:09.6	As James puts it, everyone has a pre-nup.
1:12.4	You either have one that was created by the state legislature,
1:14.9	or you can tailor one to you and your partner's unique needs.
1:18.0	He also points out something that many people will find surprising,
1:20.9	which is that the vast majority of people who do pre-ups stay married,
1:24.9	and yet most people opt not to do them.
1:27.3	We also discuss love itself, and the key questions that we all need to ask to find the right
	...

Transcript will be available on the free plan in 24 days. Upgrade to see the full transcript now.

Previous episode | Next episode

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Scicomm Media, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of Scicomm Media and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.