Andy deploys his 2026 wildcard (which is a movie we'll recap even if it's not a kids movie, TV movie or both), to devastating effect with Congo (1995), a jaw-droppingly stupid adaptation of Michael Crichton's novel that dares to ask the question: What if you had to go into the jungle to find special diamonds for the boss of a telecoms giant, but the whole region was guarded by a pack of genetically-altered super apes that happen to look like men trampolining around in unconvincing suits. Also: You have brought along a gorilla that can speak thanks to the magic of technology, but it mostly wants to get high. Also: Tim Curry is here, playing the worst-named character in all of time.

We could go on about Congo and its variously unhinged scenes, moments, accents, but we already have! In this episode of Mom Can't Cook! A DCOM Podcast! So hit play and strap in, frankly.

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