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Modern Love

Confronting Race on the First Date

Modern Love

The New York Times

Storytelling, Nytimes, Nyt, Redemption, New York Times, Society & Culture, Loss, Essay, Love

4.39K Ratings

🗓️ 18 November 2020

⏱️ 27 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Andrew and Sarah met on a dating app. Their first date was just supposed to be coffee, but it lasted nine glorious hours. They talked nonstop across four San Francisco neighborhoods. But by 2 a.m., Sarah had an admission to make. She told Andrew, who is Asian-American, that his “race might be an issue.” Andrew was shocked. The kicker? Sarah is also Asian-American. Today, we hear both sides of this story — and find out where Sarah and Andrew are now. Featured stories: “When a Dating Dare Leads to Months of Soul Searching,” Andrew Lee“Manic Pixie Real Girl,” Jerico Mandybur Andrew’s story was recorded by Audm. To hear more audio stories from publishers like The New York Times, download Audm for iPhone or Android.

Transcript

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0:00.0

Hi, Jericho.

0:02.0

Hi there.

0:04.0

If you have your story in front of you?

0:06.0

Yeah, sure.

0:08.0

I'm trying to sound like it's not 8.30 in the morning.

0:12.0

Yeah, thank you for telling me to us.

0:14.0

Are you in Australia?

0:16.0

I am.

0:18.0

Okay.

0:20.0

Okay.

0:22.0

Manic Pixie Real Girl.

0:26.0

The first time I've ever seen a girl in a movie,

0:28.0

I felt a hot shame.

0:30.0

My unique rebellion suddenly seemed small.

0:32.0

My attempts at self-definition, in vain.

0:36.0

I wasn't complex.

0:38.0

I was caricature.

0:40.0

Always an object, never a subject.

0:42.0

Worst, I loved someone who needed me to stay that way.

0:46.0

A man who needed me to remain a fantasy forever out of reach.

0:50.0

I was a man who needed me to stay that way.

0:54.0

I was a man who needed me to remain a fantasy forever out of reach.

...

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