Hello and welcome to citation need at the podcast where we choose a subject, read a single article about it on Wikipedia, and pretend we're experts because this is the internet, and that's how it works now.

I'm Noah, and I'm going to be taking the first plunge tonight, but there are a bunch of people behind me in line waiting for me to hit the guts up to just go.

First up, two men who weren't going to run near the pool until the sign tried to tell him they couldn't cease a land heath. I mean, I was never going to run anyway. I was going to gingerly step quickly. That was what I was going to do. Technically speedwalk. I'm doing the hip waggle like the speedwalkers. Put the whistle down. And also, Joni's tonight, our two men who are pretty sure it's okay to pee in the pool if you're near the filter, Tom and Eli. Why even have a filter if it's not for that? Exactly. You can do anything in the filter if the lifeguard isn't best. Jesus. And before we get going, I want to ask you to imagine the five of us trying to compete at professional water sliding.

And then you'll know why we rely on our patrons to pay the bills.

If you like to learn how to join their ranks, be sure to stick around to the end of the show.

And with that out of the way, tell us Cecil, what person, place, thing, concept, phenomenon, or event are we going to be talking about today?

Today we're going to talk about competitive water sliding.

All right, Heath, take it away.

All right, this is from Outdoor Magazine by Josh Foward.

Yeah, so many good ones.

2010, so that's how we're going to learn about it.

Maximum speed.

Great start.

Over in Germany, water sliding is a serious sport.

Hiking up their speedos, athletes of all shapes have learned how to top 50 miles per hour

with only the occasional bloody nose and forehead

stitches. This, I had to try. Okay, this sounds a lot like competitive having mass.

I'm doing so good. I'm winning. I'm winning. The fastest speed ever achieved on a water slide is 57 miles per hour.

It was clocked in 2009 on the Kilimanjaro, a 164-foot high, 50-degree plummet at Aguas-Quentes, a waterpark outside of Rio de Janeiro, by Jens Scherer, a German advertising executive.

Scherer 30, the reigning champion of competitive speed shooting, also holds four Guinness

World Records in the sport, including the one-day distance record for shooting 94 miles on a slide near Munich.

That's like traveling all the way from New York to Philadelphia on the bare skin of your back.

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