Community 02: Family Systems and Life in Community (featuring Jay and Danielle Pathak)

Rule of Life

Practicing the Way

Religion & Spirituality, Christianity

4.8 • 700 Ratings

🗓️ 13 May 2025

⏱️ 55 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Is Grandpa really in my bones? Join John Mark Comer and Shelbi Shutt as they explore the topic of Family Systems, featuring conversations with everyday people in the West, testimonials from real-life practitioners, and an interview with luminaries Jay and Danielle Pathak.

In this episode’s luminary interview, John Mark, Jay, and Danielle explore Family Systems Theory — how we carry our family dynamics into all our relationships and the impact that community can have in fostering our awareness and healing. Jay and Danielle are church planters and are both in national leadership of the Vineyard USA. Jay is the co-author of The Art of Neighboring with Dave Runyon. You can connect with them @jayrpathak and @dpathak33.

The Genogram can be a helpful next step for increasing awareness of your family origins and understanding what you may be carrying forward from your family into your present-day relationships. You can download our free Genogram Workbook at https://practicingthewayarchives.org/dealing-with-your-past/genogram-workbook.

This podcast accompanies the Community Practice, a four-session experience designed to help you cultivate community in the Way of Jesus. Learn more at practicingtheway.org/community.

Our Practices are free, thanks to the generosity of The Circle and other givers. Learn more about The Circle at practicingtheway.org/give. Run a Practice with your community and find other resources at practicingtheway.org/resources.

Transcript

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0:00.0	My family, they're very reserved, so that's why I was very shy.
0:05.0	And my family is the exact opposite.
0:07.0	Outgoing, so that really shaped me.
0:10.0	I grew up with five, there were five kids, and with that we were able to practice people skills.
0:16.0	As well, when you're maybe be an only child, you kind of have to learn how to be by yourself a little bit more often.
0:21.1	I don't think that we're all dealt the same hand in terms of knowing how to do conflict
0:24.7	resolution or communicate well.
0:26.7	You're nurtured into all of those emotional kind of hoops to jump through.
0:32.2	If you grew up in a home where your parents weren't very supportive of you, you kind of
0:35.9	move into life the same way
0:37.5	where you don't want to burden your friends
0:39.6	or your relationships.
0:40.6	You can learn something from the way your father and mother
0:44.6	interact that you either want to pursue and continue
0:47.5	or you see the way they interact with each other
0:49.5	and you want to do something completely different.
0:51.0	Childhood trauma also shapes a lot of people's
0:53.5	inability or ability
0:54.5	to deal with different things in life. People talk about healing your inner child. I think that's real.
0:59.8	I had to kind of warn how to be emotionally vulnerable and let people in and that was kind of just like
1:05.5	growing with friends and it wasn't necessarily shown to me growing up.
1:17.7	You're listening to the Rule of Life podcast from practicing the way.
	...

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