If you can humbly allow yourself to see the truth, what the other person is saying, it can

transform your relationship instantly. Are you willing to stop blaming others and focus on

your own role? Dear young married couple, if you've ever felt stuck in a cycle of miscommunication, like you're trying to repair things with your spouse, but somehow you're making it worse, this episode is for you.

Today we're sitting down with Dr. David Burns, one of the most influential psychiatrists of our time.

Dr. Burns is the bestselling author of Feeling Good with over 5 million copies sold and the creator of

the powerful team CBT method. He's also an adjunct clinical professor emeritus at Stanford.

And get this, he's still learning how to communicate better in his own marriage.

In this conversation, we explore why repair attempts fail, how defensiveness sabotages connection,

and the one practice that transformed how Dr. Burns handles conflict with his own wife,

the disarming technique.

You'll learn how to respond when you're misunderstood, how to admit when your spouse is right,

even when it stinks.

And then we'll talk about why the most effective communication sometimes feels the most unnatural.

And if you stay to the end, you'll hear a simple shift in words that might just change the next tense conversation you have.

Let's jump in.

Dr. David Burns, it is an honor to have you on

the podcast today. Thank you for being with us. Well, thanks for having me. I'm honored to be here and kind

of excited to shoot the breeze with both of you and see what you're thinking about. Yes, sir.

Absolutely. Well, you have made such a contribution, and those who are listening have already heard

so many of your contributions to our field.

And I want to start off just by asking you about this broad statement that a lot of couples

make, especially when they come into counseling.

...