Communicating With Connected Conversation Scripts (CCS)

The Virtual Couch

Tony Overbay LMFT

Education, Mental Health, Health & Fitness, Self-improvement

5 • 643 Ratings

🗓️ 6 April 2021

⏱️ 39 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Did you know that there is an actual conversation script that can help you become connected to your spouse? Yeah, Tony didn’t know that there was one either...until he and Magnetic Marriage co-creator Preston Pugmire (http://prestonpugmire.com) a fellow podcaster (Next Level Life podcast) and successful life coach created one. The CCS, or “Connected Conversation Script” is one of the key components to Tony and Preston’s marriage-changing course. In today’s episode, Tony and Preston dive deep into the CCS and talk about what there was a need for a script and how well it was received during the first round of their course. You’ll hear about how important empathy statements are in helping you understand your spouse...and what “landmine” statements to avoid. We’re only a couple of weeks away from the launch of the next round of the Magnetic Marriage course. You can sign up now to get in the queue for round 2 by heading to http://tonyoverbay.com/magentic. The course is scheduled to open for sign-ups in late April. In today’s episode, they cover the 4 Pillars of a Connected Conversation as well as how accountability plays a major role in a more connected relationship. The Magnetic Marriage Course is a hit! You can sign up now to get in the queue for round 2 by heading to http://tonyoverbay.com/magentic (http://tonyoverbay.com/magentic). The course is scheduled to open for sign-ups in the third week of April. Please subscribe to The Virtual Couch YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/c/TheVirtualCouchPodcast/ (https://www.youtube.com/c/TheVirtualCouchPodcast/) and follow The Virtual Couch on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/virtualcouch/ (https://www.instagram.com/virtualcouch/) This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch (http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch) With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch (http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch) can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch (http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch) you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch (http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch)offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight. Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to https://www.tonyoverbay.com/courses-2/ (https://www.tonyoverbay.com/courses-2/)and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help.Tony's new best-selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBoTony Overbay,

Transcript

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0:00.0	Okay, so I have literally had many, many clients say during a couple's therapy session,
0:05.2	hey, can you just tell me what to say here so that I don't actually make things worse?
0:09.3	And for years, I would think to myself, come on, it's not as difficult as you are making it out
0:14.5	to be. It's just all about being empathetic or show genuine curiosity to what your spouse is
0:19.0	telling you. But in reality, I guess it is kind of difficult.
0:22.5	And that really doesn't mean that there's something wrong with you or certainly not with your spouse.
0:26.7	We just haven't necessarily learned how to not only be curious, but how to remain curious when our spouse says something that gets us all up in our emotions.
0:36.7	So, for example, a couple of days ago,
0:38.5	I had a fellow bald husband on my couch and his wife sitting by his side and we're just warming up.
0:43.0	We're getting ready. We're building some rapport to get ready to dive into some serious couples
0:47.4	therapy. And the wife had passed a gentleman in my waiting room who had just hair for days on his
0:53.3	head, his beard. and she just made a comment
0:55.7	as we were sitting down about how she just, she loved his hair, she coveted his hair,
1:00.6	she wanted his hair. And her husband, you could see he just visibly withdrew. He sunk back in my
1:05.5	couch. And then for about five minutes, he just seemed kind of out of it. And so when we finally
1:09.7	started diving into therapy, he said, can I out of it. And so when we finally started diving into
1:11.0	therapy, he said, can I just bring something up? And he said, it's obvious that she wishes that I had
1:16.8	hair like that guy. How am I supposed to compete with that? And his wife said, hang on. So I can't
1:23.5	even comment about somebody's hair without you getting upset. And I literally called a timeout
1:28.1	with my hands and everything. And I had them pull out my CCS or connected conversation script.
1:34.7	And that's what we're going to talk about today. And these amazingly wonderful professional people
1:39.4	who have been married for over 20 years, one with an advanced degree, read from the script, these things to say
	...

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