The following is intended for immature audiences only.

There's no such thing as a radio rating system.

But if they were, this show would be rated OSN.

Oh my God, this show is so stupid.

These people should be in jail.

Let's begin.

Good afternoon.

You're listening to Common Man and Timmy.

Yeah! Featuring Panama Ted. Ted's a fun guy. And the crazy soundboard. Ola. I'm Dennis Farina. So much. I even made just a little bit of a diagram for you. 56 and, is that correct? Uh, go. You do weasel? Turn off your brain and unzip your pants.

Here's common man and Timmy.

Happy weekend.

Welcome in.

Hello, good, clean boy.

Hello, man.

We are getting close to football now, my man. I tell you what.

Oh, baby.

I wasn't here this whole week, but I came back just to do this weekend open.

This certainly was not taped a week in advance because Teddy's also going on vacation,

which means guys and gals for this show today, you're going to get the leftovers.

This is all the crap that Teddy thought wasn't good enough to put in previous weekend shows. Well, damn it, he's doing it today. How you doing, Ted? I'm doing good, Mike. All right. Tell me what's coming up on the craptastic show. What you said was pretty much completely wrong, though. It was? Yeah. You said we're going to add in stuff that didn't make the other shows. No, this is a compilation of some of the best stuff from the first month you guys were together. And I'm putting that together. We're going way back. So you go back to May now. Before Timmy had pubs. Way back. Before I could even grow any kind of facial hair.

Oh, wait.

That's been my entire life.

...