Oh, hey, it's the fitted sheet that really doesn't care how you fold it. Allie Ward, welcome to ologies. I'm proud of you for listening to this one. It might save your life, or it might make you horny. We'll see. Either way, this guest is thrilling. They are a colorectal surgeon and the author of the acclaimed book, Constipation Nation, What to Know when you can't go. They have been decorated with

so many medical awards. They got their MD at Michigan State University. They did their surgery

residency at Mount Sinai, Beth Israel, then a fellowship in colon and rectal surgery at Stony Brook

and is a double board certified general and colorectal surgeon in private practice as a co-director

of the hemorrhoid centers of America. They're so funny, so charming, no question is too

sensitive, and you need to send this to everyone you know with a butthole. Even your grandparents.

You think your granddad never had a finger up his butt? I got a bridge to sell you.

It comes with a free dill though. But first, thank you to everyone via patreon.com slash ologies for supporting the show for a dollar or more a month and submitting your questions. Thanks to everyone out in ologiesmerch from ologiesmerch.com. And as always, thanks to the folks who review the show for me to read, which helps people discover it so much. This latest one

is from S.R. Forstner, who wrote, one minute, I'm learning about volcanic lightning. The next,

I'm emotionally invested in salamanders. S.R. Forstner, thank you to that and thank you to sponsors

of the show who make it possible for us to donate each week to a related charity.

Okay, come along with me into the world of your colon. Also, I did an episode a few years ago called Field Trip, My Butt, a colonoscopy, how to, and ride along. And since so many of you will be listening to that one next, we're going to re-release it this week as a bonus episode because I've gotten so many letters from listeners the past couple years that told me that it helped them catch and treat diseases, including cancers. So we're going to link that re-air it. But colon comes from the Greek colon, which means colon, and proctology

derives from the Greek for anus. So coloproctology, we get deep. Sit tight or walk around for prostate orgasms,

shady polyps, colon cancer branding, hot dog habits, endometriosis, diverticulitis, butt plugs,

heartburn, duches, bids, farts, vacation constipation in the nation,

fibromaxing, ostomy awareness, second sphincters,

the most fascinating crown jewels, pregnancy, agonies, roids, fissures, fixes, IBS, hydrotherapy,

a shocking shower revelation and how a blissful colonoscopy could change and save your life

with surgeon, author, Earthly Delight,

and coloproctologist Dr. Carmen Fong. I love her.

Thank you. We're viving.

We're viving. There's so many questions.

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