Collaborative & Proactive Solutions with Your Children that Don't Require Punishment featuring Dr. Ross Greene
The Dad Edge Podcast
Larry Hagner
4.8 • 1.6K Ratings
🗓️ 20 February 2026
⏱️ 59 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
In this powerful conversation, I sit down with Dr. Ross Greene, clinical psychologist and creator of the Collaborative and Proactive Solutions (CPS) model, to unpack why traditional rewards and punishments often make behavior worse — not better. We dive deep into why "because I said so" stops working, what your child's frustration is actually communicating, and how to shift from authoritarian control to collaborative leadership that builds trust, accountability, and critical thinking.
If you've ever thought, "Why is this not working anymore?" this episode will give you a radically different lens — and practical tools you can use immediately.
Timeline Summary
[0:00] Why power struggles are so common in parenting
[2:00] Introducing Dr. Ross Greene and the CPS model
[6:17] Why rewards and punishments don't solve the real problem
[8:33] Concerning behavior as a frustration response
[12:04] The 3-step collaborative problem-solving process explained
[16:19] Real-life example: solving teeth brushing battles with a 3-year-old
[30:56] Curfew conflict and how to navigate teenage resistance
[37:16] How collaborative parenting builds critical thinking
[41:56] Why authoritarian parenting may cause long-term harm
[47:06] Developmental variability — why every child is different
[49:23] Why noncompliance is informative, not defiance
[56:31] Accountability through collaboration — not punishment
Five Key Takeaways
- Concerning behavior is a signal, not a character flaw. It communicates an unsolved problem.
- Rewards and punishments modify behavior — they don't solve the underlying issue.
- The 3-step CPS process (Empathy, Define Adult Concern, Invitation) reduces conflict and builds trust.
- Noncompliance is information. It tells you an expectation may exceed your child's current skill set.
- Collaborative leadership builds accountability, emotional regulation, and critical thinking.
Links & Resources
- Dad Edge Alliance Preview Call: http://thedadedge.com/preview
- Dad Edge Business Boardroom (Mastermind): https://thedadedge.com/mastermind
- Dr. Ross Greene — Lives in the Balance (Free Resources): https://livesinthebalance.org
- Episode Show Notes & Resources: https://thedadedge.com/1442
Closing Remark
If this episode challenged how you think about discipline, accountability, and leadership at home, don't just sit on it — put it into practice. Try the empathy step tonight. Lead with curiosity. Solve one unsolved problem.
If this conversation impacted you, please rate, review, follow, and share the podcast. The way we parent today shapes the leaders of tomorrow.
From my heart to yours — go out and live legendary.
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Welcome to the Dad Edge podcast. The Dad Edge movement creates leaders of men, leaders of families, and leaders of communities. We will not only impact this generation of fathers, but the next generation as well. The kids we are raising will have better chances and odds stacked in their favor because of the amazing example |
| 0:21.2 | that their fathers emulated for them. We are here to change the world. We are here to change |
| 0:27.6 | relationships. We are here to positively disrupt this generation of fathers so no man goes to their |
| 0:33.6 | grave with regret. We disrupt the drift of busyness and replace it with razor-focused intention, |
| 0:40.3 | passion, purpose, and direction. |
| 0:43.7 | We are the Dad Edge, |
| 0:45.7 | and we're here to change the game. |
| 0:47.8 | We're here to change the game. |
| 1:05.5 | I don't know. Are you a dad or mom that has power struggles with their kids? If you got teenagers, you can't get them to come home on time for curfew. Basically, |
| 1:12.5 | it's a power struggle and you're using terms like, because I said so, because I'm the adult and |
| 1:17.8 | you're the kid, and because that's just the way it is, don't ask me any questions. If you find |
| 1:23.1 | yourself parenting like this, trust me, you are not the minority, you are the majority because this is a real |
| 1:29.5 | battle. And today, I've got something for you guys and I've got a guest for you guys today that will |
| 1:35.1 | help you end all power struggles and help you with a more collaborative approach. So, |
| 1:40.5 | gentlemen, what's going on? My name is Larry Hagnerner i'm the host and founder the dad edge podcast and |
| 1:44.8 | welcome back here today's conversation is something that every parent every dad needs to hear |
| 1:50.5 | especially if you found yourself asking yourself why is this not working anymore and when i say |
| 1:57.0 | this it's like getting our kids to do things right so today So today I'm sitting down with Dr. Ross Green, a clinical psychologist and the originator of the evidence-based collaborative and proactive solutions model, or what he calls CPS. |
| 2:12.4 | He's also the author of several influential books, including The Explosive Child, Lost at School, Raising Human |
| 2:20.0 | Beings, and his newest book, which we talk about today, Kids Who Aren't Okay. So, he has spent |
| 2:26.7 | over 20 years on faculty at Harvard Medical School, and he is the founding director of the |
| 2:33.4 | nonprofit Lives in the Balance and currently |
... |
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