Baby, we thought we had seen everything this administration could fling at our eyeballs… and then RFK Jr. and Kid Rock dropped a workout video. A workout video. Together. We are calling it Cokeback Mountain, and we are issuing a public health warning: once seen, it cannot be unseen. We are still trying to get our retinas into therapy.

Meanwhile, the U.S. and Iran are both out here claiming “progress” in nuclear talks while the U.S. quietly slides more military hardware into the region like we wouldn’t notice. Sure, Jan.

Then Trump’s top economic adviser wants to punish the New York Fed staffers for the crime of… doing math. Apparently, discovering that consumers are paying 90% of the tariff costs is now a punishable offense. We guess arithmetic is Antifa now.

Over at the FCC, Brendan Carr swears he didn’t censor CBS after Stephen Colbert said network lawyers blocked his interview with Texas Senate candidate James Talarico. We’re not saying somebody’s lying — we’re just saying the math ain’t mathing.

At least a dozen Democrats have already RSVP’d “absolutely not” to Trump’s State of the Union next week. And honestly, we get it. Self‑care is important.

Then Lara Trump popped up to let us know that Trump has a speech pre-written to announce the discovery of alien life. We have questions. Many. None of them answered. All of them loud.

And finally, we dig into the nonsense behind the term “boomcession,” because apparently we’re all supposed to believe the economy is both booming as we take out loans to buy a chicken breast. 

Join us as we laugh to keep from screaming, scream to keep from crying, and try to figure out why every week feels like a new episode of “America’s Funniest Constitutional Crises.”

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