Hey, everyone, it's Whitney here. Please don't scroll past this because I'm doing tour dates because

that's what I was told started happening. So just go to Waitycomys.com. I'm coming to your city and

don't skip this because wildness is coming soon right now.

I'm in Austin, Texas, doing the podcast here with a bunch of hot dorks in STEM. I'm here to do

the comedy mothership. I am reading off a prompter because I'm going to read a bunch of hot dorks in STEM. I'm here to do the Comedy Mothership.

I am reading off a prompter because I'm going to read a bunch of jokes that I cut from the CNN New Year's Eve roast.

I didn't cut them because I was scared.

I cut them for time and a lot of other things, but we'll get to that in a second.

I'm very excited to be at the Comedy Mothership.

Let me tell you what.

Because like comedy mothership has those yonder bags. Like people talk about like, oh, why is the mothership so great? It's because it has bags. As soon as you come in, you have to put your phone

to bags. You can't like film like snitch comics, you know. I think that because of Instagram and

Twitter and

TikTok comment section, people want to comment in person. Like, there's an escalation in just

Tourette's at comedy shows. And I'm happy. I'm fine with hecklers. You guys know that I ask people

about their conspiracy theories. I talk to the audience a lot, but when someone just yells something

to try to, like, correct you of, like, self-righteous indignation, it is you are coming

for people that professionally insult other people. And how dare you make me look like a bully

by intentionally misunderstanding a joke and a comedy show to go out of your way to be offended at my job.

You paid money to hear jokes and then you heard one and you were like, ah.

It's honestly might be drugs and it's obviously some kind of mental illness, but I remember one time I was like, it was at the comedy store.

And I was doing some joke. It was when like Chappelle was getting a lot of shit for being transphobic or something like that.

...