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Deconversion Therapy

Church Lock-ins, Funerals, and Easter Condoms

Deconversion Therapy

deconversiontherapy

Religion & Spirituality, Documentary, Religion, Comedy, Society & Culture

4.9585 Ratings

🗓️ 1 May 2019

⏱️ 49 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Bonnie and Karen has a few false starts this week as they talk about church lock-ins. Join us as we tell you about them in real time. Horny kids, pizza, one bathroom, what could go wrong? Lock-ins have evolved since we were teens, and now there are bouncy castles and kids suing the church for stupid youth minister pranks. They get bands, go to Walmart, go to malls, jump at one of those trampoline places for exxxactly 90 minutes. Karen tells about her kids have gone to church lock-ins. They were amazing and huge with concerts and junk food. Then they returned home with church “dollars” they could buy cheap-ass toys at the church, to get them to return. They read a letter from Stacey about her Jewish kids attending a Baptist church funeral. Culture shock. Then down the Christian funeral spiral Karen and Bonnie go, going off about how faith funerals are less about the dead and more about trying to convert the attendees. SUBMIT YOUR OWN FUNNY STORY. Bonnie tells about how she screamed at a pious co-worker once and feels badly about it. Karen tells her the woman deserved it. Then Karen shares her giddy moment of finding out kids put condoms all over her neighborhood the day before there was going to be an outside Easter service. Don't Be and Asshole! Bye, now.

Transcript

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0:00.0

All right, I'm ready.

0:13.0

I've got to eat a sandwich and watch Bob Newhart reruns.

0:17.7

Oh, well, I don't want to interrupt that fun time.

0:24.2

Let me get my cocaine.

0:26.4

Get it.

0:28.3

Hey, this is Deconversion Therapy.

0:31.2

This is Karen.

0:32.3

This is Bonnie.

0:34.3

Hold on.

0:35.8

All right.

0:36.4

What?

0:37.0

I'm recording. my god no now mom i've got my head gear on

0:44.3

i had since like waving at me to put my blinds down.

0:56.1

And I can't even do it.

0:57.7

And now he's not looking at me.

0:59.3

Like he's like, okay.

1:03.0

Just because my dog's looking at me through it. I'll just go back to listening to my podcast.

1:07.1

Okay.

1:08.3

All right.

1:10.1

I'm going to do that again. I don't know why. Okay. All right. I'm going to do that again.

1:12.8

I don't know why.

1:14.9

Oh, God.

...

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