Coming out of the industry at a young age, you end up having a very transactional outlook

on interpersonal relationships. You kind of are like, what am I getting from this?

Or what do I have to do? How do I have to perform in order to extract what I need in this moment?

And it really messes you up for a long time. You also have

to live in your ego actively. I actually call it narcissistic purgatory and I believe that

article as well because it's like you don't want to talk about yourself, but you have to talk

about yourself. You don't want to think about the past because you want to heal from the past,

but you have to talk about the past because that's all people talk about.

And so it's like you're one foot in, one foot out, or one foot grabbing you from the grave.

And you're like, what can I do? I cannot win.

So you feel extremely vulnerable and you feel extremely exposed and everywhere you go,

you feel raw and you feel like you have to be another version of yourself because that

better version of yourself is going to improve the quality of your life or you don't have any

answers, essentially, because you really aren't given a point of view when you're a young kid and

they're like, this is the character you're going to play, kind of dissociate over time.

There's a lot of my childhood that I don't even remember when I think about how I'm getting my

kids to connect the dots in interpersonal relationships from now. It's not just gentle

parenting. It's me reparenting myself. They have body awareness. No means no.

And just that alone, that body awareness keeps them in their body. If I ever know,

if I ever see them get that thousand yard stare where they're dissociating because it's

like an uncomfortable moment, I'm immediately like, okay, let's let's try to take the time we can

because this is obviously sending this kid to a point that they can't handle this.

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