Hi, I'm David Ferrier, in New Zealander who got accidentally marooned in America, and I want to figure

out what makes this country tick.

Now I've learned a lot this year.

I've learned that Americans eat over 50 billion cheeseburgers a year, that 200 million of them consider themselves Christian,

and that over 115 million males in the United States are currently walking around with no foreskin.

It's crazy.

Somebody looking at this who's intact

would say, that's not my penis.

I've learned that citizens of the US love football, shower curtains and saying math instead of maths.

Would you ever say maths or is it always math math math math math?

Math. Math. Math. Can't get used to it.

Along the way, I've learned that there's a lot to love about this deeply confusing country.

And as this year rushes to a close, it felt appropriate to dive into something deeply American.

Okay people tomorrow morning 10 a.m. Santa's coming in time.

Santa! Oh my God!

Santa! or more broadly, Christmas is almost here.

And to me, America is Christmas, and Christmas is America.

Because growing up in New Zealand, the 25th of December was always dominated by American films,

The Grinch, a Christmas Carol, Die Had, Home Alone and National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation.

Like in so much of the world, Christmas is seen through an American lens.

Since this is Aunt Bethany's 80th Christmas,

I think she should lead us in the saying of Grace.

...