Chopped Chumps - 3.20.26

The Howie Carr Radio Network

Howie Carr

Daily News, News, Politics, News Commentary

4.6 • 1.5K Ratings

🗓️ 20 March 2026

⏱️ 2 minutes

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Summary

Tune in every weekday at 5:00 every evening to hear the best chumps submitted by loyal listeners like you. Send us your best one-liners between noon and 4 at 844-500-4242. Visit the Howie Carr Radio Network website to access columns, podcasts, and other exclusive content.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Chop Chumps is brought to you by our cheap bastard deals.
0:03.0	Go to howiecar show.com and click on store to get half-priced gift cards for everything from restaurants to breweries to spas.
0:10.1	The deals are endless, and they are cheap. Democrats voted unanimously today to permit squishing Jiminy Kricket, if seen hanging around an ice vehicle.
0:33.1	When asked what he thought his chances were, the Iranian who had dismembered said, he definitely
0:38.7	had a leg up.
0:40.0	When French President Macron asked when he thought Iran would surrender, Donald Trump said,
0:45.5	You should know better than me.
0:47.3	Chuck Norris actually died 20 years ago.
0:50.2	Death just finally got up the nerve to tell him.
0:52.3	Hey, Howie, it's getting so bad in the York that Hockel was thinking of charging the homeless property taxes.
0:58.3	Since the Democrats opposed Trump on everything, he should come out and say how beautiful all their wives are.
1:05.4	That would force them to come out and say how ugly they are.
1:08.8	I thought that the Democrats wouldn't care about gas prices because they all drive
1:13.1	EDs.
1:14.8	That was your last chump line message.
1:17.5	Thank you for calling Howie Car.
1:19.2	You chump.
1:20.6	Chop Chumps was brought to you by our cheap bastard deals.
1:23.6	Go to Howie Car Show.com and click on store to get half-priced gift cards for everything from restaurants to breweries to spas.
1:30.8	The deals are endless and they are cheap.

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