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The deals are endless. I'm Chena Bellows and I banned Trump from the election for like reasons and feels and stuff.

Democrats are all for democracy as long as they get to pre-select our voting options.

Come on, man.

We've kept him off the ballots.

We're trying to put him in jail, and he still leads me in the polls.

That's why I'm instructing Attorney General to charge him with double secret probation.

Mickey Haley sounds like a bad cover band for

Dave Mistane there.

What do you mean? I don't believe in sleighfreight.

What do you want me to say? If there's a new way I'll be the first in line as long as it's not Trump this time.

Channeling their inner Seinfeld, newly arriving illegal immigrants in New York City have reportedly told Eric Adams, quote,

I choose not to work.

Who could have imagined that the main legislature could have picked a valley girl as Secretary of State.

Who is afraid of the big bad wolf? Taylor is.

That was your last chump line message.

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You chump.

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