Chloe Petts' Toilet Humour

Comedy of the Week

BBC

Comedy

4 • 2.8K Ratings

🗓️ 10 June 2024

⏱️ 15 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

In this episode, Chloe begins her journey exploring her own relationship with the toilet. From the revelations in primary school, to the best friends you make in the night club toilet, right up to what her experience is like in present day.

To help Chloe on this historical journey of the loo, she is joined by a new travel companion, the Ghost of Sir Thomas Crapper - who also bears quite a resemblance to comedian, Ed Gamble.

Written and Performed by Chloe Petts Additional material from Adam Drake The Ghost of Sir Thomas Crapper performed by Ed Gamble Produced by Daisy Knight Sound Designer - David Thomas Editor - Peregrine Andrews Executive Producers - Jon Thoday, Richard Allen Turner and Rob Aslett An Avalon production for BBC Radio 4

Transcript

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0:00.0	I'm Cardiff born Cardiff Bread and when I dies I'll be Cardiff Dead.
0:05.0	I'm Charlotte Church and this is my family.
0:09.0	As we get to the pub, your mama falls into the bush.
0:12.0	The Teri is going,
0:13.0	Moining his photographer is wrong.
0:15.0	Get at!
0:16.0	Listening on intimate and special conversations.
0:19.0	When you were three months old,
0:21.0	I probably had a slice of bread a day. I got through it because of you.
0:24.5	But the people I love the most. Tomorrow never comes.
0:27.5	Yesterday's past. The only time you've actually got is today.
0:31.4	Kicking back with the cat if he ends.
0:33.0	Listen on BBC Sounds.
0:35.0	BBC Sounds.
0:36.0	BBC Sounds.
0:38.0	Music Radio Podcasts. Hello my name's Chloe Petz and I love toilets. Not in a creepy way like when kids are really into Frank Sinatra.
0:59.0	Just in a way that I find them interesting like dads and lawnmowers.
1:04.2	I love toilet humour. It's a shame, but I don't think I'll ever write anything as funny as a well-time to fart.
1:11.1	And I've never felt more at home than when I'm rushing through that number one or two in a posh toilet because I can see they've got molten brown moisturizer
1:20.9	And they haven't even chained it down suckers.
1:23.4	That's going straight in my rucksack.
1:27.4	Some people think that my happy place is the football or verbally abusing a man on the
	...

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