I thought that I was completely sure.

I thought that I was completely assured in my identity as a man and in my decision to

transition.

But the surgery had completely changed my perspective because I was so unlike the other treatments, which were, their effects

came gradually over time. This was immediate. And it was clear just how permanent and how

destructive it was to my body. I remember waking up from surgery and that day going home and I had this elaborate

fantasy of like being on a beach and taking my shirt off and just having my bare chest of the

sun and finally being able to like change and like go go swimming without having to like wear

a top. But the fantasy eventually went away and reality hit very soon with once they had my

bandages unwrapped about a week or two afterward and I started having to wash my my wounds and

take care of them at home and just look down at this now barren area of my body that was covered in scars, that was brutal.

That was really tough to see. Like, I felt like a freak. I felt like a monster just looking at

myself in the mirror and looking at all the surgical markings and everything. And around this time,

I actually started to miss my feminine Dia a little bit.

I missed, I started growing out my hair again, I started dying it.

I was missing my childhood a bit.

And I was missing some of just the little things about being a little girl.

Welcome to a brand new episode of the Michelle Tafoya podcast.

Do you know the name Chloe Cole?

If you do, you're going to want to hear this incredible interview.

If you don't, you're going to want to hear this incredible interview.

Before I go any further, please hit that subscribe button.

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