Childproofed Hills

Childproof

Gwenna Laithland and Tori Phantom

Kids & Family, Parenting

4.9 • 2K Ratings

🗓️ 30 April 2025

⏱️ 43 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

American cheese may or may not be food. Blue is a flavor. As is purple. Cosplayers and Sports Fans are basically the same. Raisins are definitely not food. There is crying in the zombie apocalypse. These are the hills we shall defend until the bitter end. And this episode makes no sense. We’re not going to pretend otherwise. Enjoy. And be sure to email us to argue about any of these hills we are willing to lay down up to defend. We love to argue and we'd love to hear from you, what hills have you climbed to the top of? Email us childproofmail@gmail.com Merch: Click Here Youtube: Click Here Click Here for the video promised on what exactly is Blue Raspberry from Weird History Food. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	in the zombie apocalypse like you're not going to be able to survive off of the pallet of ketchup
0:06.2	you found it could give you a little bit of energy to go find like food that would correct but i
0:11.8	i still feel like when you're down to eating the crickets and the roaches the ketchup is going to make
0:17.5	that way better in the zombie apocalypse you're still putting it on your roach to eat.
0:22.4	I know, but it's still food.
0:23.9	Okay, if you were in a zombie apocalypse.
0:27.9	Raising a well-behaved child in this world requires strict disson and punishment.
0:32.5	Today we will look.
0:33.8	No, the fuck we will not.
0:47.7	No. No, the fuck we will not. Hello and welcome to childproof.
0:49.7	I'm Gwenalithland.
0:50.7	And I'm Tori Phantom.
0:52.2	Today we're actually doing a childproofed episode. No, for real this time.
0:56.8	We aren't talking directly about parenting. Nope. We're talking about dying. We did that last week.
1:05.1	Well, we're talking about Hillsworth dying on. Basically, these are just random thoughts that we have incredibly strong feelings about.
1:14.3	Sometimes for no good reason, there's no reason to feel this strongly about some of these
1:20.4	hills that we are willing to die on.
1:23.5	Yeah, we have so many hills you could call us mountainous.
1:27.1	Let's start the timer.
1:29.8	Listen, as a flatlander, I don't understand.
1:33.7	Actually, here's a hill. Oklahoma is not the same as Kansas and Nebraska. We're not flat.
1:39.6	We are very hilly through a good chunk of the state.
	...

Please login to see the full transcript.

Previous episode | Next episode

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Gwenna Laithland and Tori Phantom, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of Gwenna Laithland and Tori Phantom and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.