And I was like, yeah, I'm a question.

We're coming in for the table of five tonight.

Can we get a high chair and a hemorrhoid pillow, please?

I'm sorry sir.

Yes, a high chair and a hemorrhoid pillow.

My buddy here has a pain in his ass in his rectum,

if you will, in a more restaurant friendly term.

I say, yeah, go ahead, bring your hemorrhoid pillow.

So I go, I pick them up, we're driving.

It's only like a 10 minute car ride.

And throughout the car ride, I feel like a vibration,

like a shaking, thinking, what the hell is that?

I started to take my Hyundai in for the fifth time in two months.

I'm like, shit, that's gotta be the engine.

He said, no, no, it's just my hemorrhoid pillow.

I said, what the fuck is this hemorrhoid pillow?

Show me the damn thing.

It's like a circular tube.

Do you know one of those things you sleep, you know what?

You know, you know what it really compares to?

You ever see somebody with like the neck braces

around themselves on the airplane to help them sleep

...