Cheltenham 2026 Best Bits
Hawksbee and Jacobs Daily
talkSPORT
4.5 • 808 Ratings
🗓️ 16 March 2026
⏱️ 55 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Now that the dust has settled on the 2026 Cheltenham Festival, Paul Hawksbee and Andy Jacobs look back at the very best and most ridiculous moments from a whirlwind week at Cheltenham!
We highlight Andy’s Tour Diary, where he recounts everything from the hotel breakfasts to his brutal personal rankings of just how famous the festival's "celebrities" actually are.
Our man on the ground, Charlie Baker, who dives into the thick of the crowd to rub shoulders with punters and stars alike, capturing the chaotic spirit of the racecourse.
Plus, it wouldn't be a Cheltenham special without a very special edition of the Birthday Spread, as the boys recap the biggest wins on the turf and the funniest mishaps off it.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Good afternoon, everyone. |
| 0:06.2 | Good afternoon, Andy. |
| 0:07.6 | And good afternoon, Charlie. |
| 0:08.7 | Good afternoon, Charlie. |
| 0:09.3 | Good afternoon. |
| 0:09.8 | It's nice to be in. |
| 0:10.9 | I always think the Cheltenham Raw would be a great name for a sushi restaurant. |
| 0:14.4 | Yeah. |
| 0:15.2 | Talking of which, we went, last night's restaurant was tremendous. |
| 0:20.2 | Yeah. |
| 0:54.5 | We worked out that we put more effort into booking the restaurants than we do booking guests. So our first guest is the chef from Kibu. Yes. It's nice to see you. Yes, yeah, that's right. We do put a lot of effort into the restaurant. Andy's a very fussy eater, as you know. The restaurant manager said to us asked if we had any allergies. I said, yes, Rupert's tips. Yeah, that is very true. Starting already. Oh, yeah, we've gone in two foot already. Now, Charlie, you are going to be out and about. You've been coasting around already. Yeah. Spotting the stars. Celebs and stars. They're all here. Well, they're not all here, aren't they? Your facial hair differs. Oh, yeah, that's true. The listeners may know if they've ever seen pictures of you. Sometimes you're full beard, sometimes you're clean-shaven. Yeah. But you've got quite a rakish moustache at the moment. I'm leaning into the moustache. Yeah. I like the moustache. it gives me Deslinem vibes I feel. It's a bit flecked with grey I'm actually. |
| 1:13.8 | It's a bit salt and pepper. A couple of grey. I've got my tweezers with me. Back in the knife draw, miss sharp. No, no. You do wonder, don't you, whether it's impossible to just tell from somebody's voice whether they have a moustache or not. |
| 1:27.6 | What a great idea. Yeah. And I thought, Paul, I'd go out today amongst the punters of Cheltenham. Yeah. And I'll speak to a few people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. One of them will have a moustache. Yeah. I'll record them. And then at the end of the day, you and Andy can guess which one's got a moustache. So we're just from the sound of their voice. |
| 1:44.9 | What a tremendous competition. |
| 1:45.8 | It's a great competition. |
| 1:47.5 | It's a... the end of the day you and Andy can guess which one's got a mustache so just from the sound |
| 1:44.5 | of their voice just from this competition it's a winner I'm Tash or not I'm got to come up with a |
| 1:51.0 | better title I accidentally when I open my suitcase I accidentally realized I brought Sue's |
| 1:55.2 | magic retouch instant root conditioner oh yeah if you want to spray your moustache before you go |
| 2:00.4 | accidentally yeah who do you think I am? What do you think I am? Sam Matterface? We had our first lookalikes of the week. Oh, that's nice. Paul was on great form. He came in with a very good one of our esteemed boss, Rupert Murdoch. four runs and a P-45. It was a very good, it was it? Rupert Murdoch, sorry if you're looking at the... Sorry if you're listed. I've been looking at the names of horses, right? And I think they are bait for talk sport listeners a lot of the time. We've got my daddy paddy, |
| 2:34.5 | which is obviously paddy power. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's in the first race. In the 2 o'clock, there is Steel Alley. Oh, that's good, yeah. So this is all the talk sport horses. Yeah, yeah, yeah. In the 1440, there's Glenn to Glenn. Yeah. We've got any glens? I mean, we have. running out a little bit. |
| 2:51.2 | 3 o'clock magic pod. |
... |
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