Cheating, Supernormal Stimulus, Evolutionary Psychology, and False Accusations

Psychology In Seattle Podcast

Kirk Honda

Mental Health, Health & Fitness

4.6 • 1.2K Ratings

🗓️ 16 October 2020

⏱️ 104 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Dr. Kirk and Humberto read patron emails.

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Email: https://www.psychologyinseattle.com/contact

The Psychology In Seattle Podcast ®

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Transcript

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0:00.0	So Beto, I have a bunch of emails for you and me to read and answer on the podcast, what do you say Beto?
0:08.0	That sounds awesome.
0:09.0	This is the Psychology and Seattle Podcast. I'm your host, Dr. Kirk Honda Honda I'm a therapist and a professor.
0:14.3	My name is Umberto Castaneda and I measure the size of waves.
0:18.0	So this first email is from anonymous patron from Hawaii, she writes.
0:22.9	My husband of two years recently came to me with a confession that he's found himself physically
0:27.7	attracted to a new coworker of his.
0:31.4	He admits she's very flirtatious and that he reciprocates to her. He's gone to the
0:37.6	bar with her and others a few times and has admitted to being touchy with her. He's told me that he is confused about the emotions
0:46.0	that it is bringing up in him and that the guilt has brought him to tell me about it.
0:52.0	Although I am grateful he came to me as soon as he did, I still feel as though
0:57.4	this was an act of cheating and infidelity. How common does this happen in couples? Is this a red flag of future transgressions?
1:07.0	Beto, what do you think?
1:09.0	Well, I don't know how common it is. I do sense that it's got to be common it's got to be some of the oldest stories of
1:17.4	humanity because you have people that are in contact with other people that they are attracted to and whether they're already in relationships or not
1:26.4	Some parts of that attraction happen almost autonomically in their heads
1:31.5	But you know the depending on where their relationship is at and things like that they might not ever act on it.
1:37.2	But sometimes when, you know, I sometimes feel like these things are like in little increments but if one
1:44.9	side sees the other side make a little teeny move then they're encouraged to make a
1:48.9	little teeny move and at first it's just well I'm just saying something
1:52.4	sort of flirtatious not really oh they sort of said something flirtatious well next time I'll make it a little more flirtatious oh they just made it more flirtatious and then the thing snowballs and pretty soon you are
2:04.3	dancing Lombada late at night with your coworker. So yeah I I venture to
	...

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