Psychology in Seattle.

Hey deserving listeners, today I'm going to read your emails and respond to them.

But before I do that that let's introduce the podcast

this is the podcast called Psychology in Seattle and I am your host Dr Kirk Honda I'm a

therapist and a professor. This first email is from patron Courtney she writes

I was cheated on in the past and my

ex was very secretive about social media because he was seeing other women behind my

back my current boyfriend doesn't really use social media all that

often, but the possibility of that happening again keeps nagging at me and the

fact that my boyfriend reacts defensively about it doesn't help.

This has been the most healthy relationship that I have been in in my life and I'm worried that

if I continue to approach this in the wrong way, I will push him away.

But not bringing it up at all causes these feelings

to flare up intensely at random, and I'm suffering.

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

End of email.

Yeah, good question, Patron Courtney.

A lot of people are suffering from this.

You've been relationally traumatized at the very least by your ex who was secretly cheating on you. This is a massive

trauma and I want to emphasize this for everybody. To be cheated on is horrible. To be cheated on repeatedly for a long period of time is a very, very intense trauma.

The, depending on the organization of the relationship, but you know, most relationships are organized in such a way that the two people are saying, you know, we're dedicated to each other we're not going to

cheat on each other we're not going to have sex other people and we're going to be

...