I'm starting to understand why teenage girls feel bullied by social media.

Oh.

By like unrealistic standards set on social media.

Okay. Why?

Because I don't normally follow those accounts.

Sure.

But then lately, I've decided, you know what?

I'm going to try to learn how to cook.

I'm going to be a better cook.

So I'm going to start following accounts of people who have easy one-pot meals. Here's a healthy, filling, delicious

meal that you can throw together. I followed a bunch of those accounts. Those motherfuckers

are trying to tell me that this 79 ingredient dish is a super easy fucking meal. All you need to have are these five, like, Asian

spices that you need to go to like three towns over to get. You, you, because I cook more than

you, you are experiencing the thing that everyone who delves into cooking experiences in which

recipes are lies. But you have to know which parts are lies. The ingredients are not a lie.

The prep time is a lie. They are all the, it is a bunch of like very, very proper looking

middle-aged women looking at the cameras, lying to my face. They are lying to about garlic.

Super easy salad to make that will only take me 17 hours,

provided I have already pickled something ahead of time.

Provided you have the carrots and potatoes peeled and chopped, it's a snap.

Oh, Paul, we're not talking carrots and potatoes.

These bitches want me to make things with fennel.

...