Charles Duhigg on Unlock the Secret Language of Connection | EP 680

Passion Struck with John R. Miles

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4.9 • 1.3K Ratings

🗓️ 23 October 2025

⏱️ 50 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

What if the distance between you and the people who matter most isn’t measured in miles—but in missed conversations?

In this week’s episode of Passion Struck, host John R. Miles sits down with Pulitzer Prize–winning journalist and bestselling author Charles Duhigg to explore how extraordinary conversations rebuild connection and trust.

Duhigg’s book, Supercommunicators: How to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection, decodes why some discussions deepen relationships while others quietly drive people apart. Together, we explore the neuroscience of belonging, how to reconnect when you’ve drifted apart, and why the key to stronger relationships starts with listening differently.

This conversation marks the fourth installment in our series The Forces That Shape Us—following episodes on gravity, doubt, luck, and defiance—by uncovering the invisible force that binds us together: communication.

Read the full shownotes here!

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All episode resources—including guest links, my books You Matter, Luma and Passion Struck, The Ignited Life Substack, and Start Mattering store—are gathered here: 👉 linktr.ee/John_R_Miles

To learn more about Charles Duhigg, visit charlesduhigg.com.

🧠 About the Episode

Discover The Secret Language of Connection—and why some conversations transform relationships while others divide them.
Learn practical tools to rebuild trust when communication has broken down.
Explore The Matching Principle—the art of speaking the same emotional language as others.
Understand how to reconnect when you’ve drifted apart and create psychological safety through presence and empathy.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Coming up next on Passion Struck.
0:02.2	There's this important distinction between inviting someone to talk to you and mandating that they talk to you. If you call someone up and you say, hey, there's this thing that happened and I'd love to discuss it with you. If it's something you're interested in, that's very different from calling up and saying, hey, look, there's this thing between us and I want to talk about it right now. I want to resolve this and get this out of the way.
0:21.9	The first feels like an invitation.
0:24.0	So I might say yes, but I might also say no. The second is a demand. It's a demand of my time and it's an attempt to control me, even if that's not your intention. It feels to me like you're trying to control what I'm allowed to talk about and how I'm going to talk about it. And that never feels good, right? That puts you in a fight or flight response, which means
0:41.9	you're probably not going to have a productive conversation. Welcome to Passionstruck. I'm your
0:46.0	host, John Miles. This is the show where we explore the art of human flourishing and what it
0:51.9	truly means to live like it matters. Each week, I sit down with
0:55.7	change makers, creators, scientists, and everyday heroes to decode the human experience
1:00.8	and uncover the tools that help us lead with meaning, heal what hurts, and pursue the fullest
1:06.3	expression of who we're capable of becoming. Whether you're designing your future, developing as a leader,
1:12.1	or seeking deeper alignment in your life,
1:14.4	this show is your invitation
1:16.0	to grow with purpose and act with intention.
1:18.9	Because the secret to a life of deep purpose,
1:21.7	connection, and impact
1:22.7	is choosing to live like you matter.
1:32.7	Thank you. choosing to live like you matter. Welcome back, friends, to Passion Struck episode 680.
1:36.9	I'm John Miles, your host, and I'm so glad you're here.
1:39.9	Whether you're joining us for the first time or you're part of our growing community of listeners.
1:45.0	More than a third of you who come back week after week, welcome.
1:48.6	You're not just supporting a show.
1:50.3	You're part of a movement to create a world where people feel seen, valued, and like they truly matter.
	...

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