Chapter 1: Emily Dickinson, featuring Andy Richter

The Dead Authors Podcast

Paul F. Tompkins

Arts, Conan, Andy, Snl, Machine, Tompkins, 826, Daly, Maya, Books, Time, Tompkast, Travel, Ucb, Mcsweeneys, Rudolph, Superego, Comedy

4.9 • 1.6K Ratings

🗓️ 20 September 2011

⏱️ 43 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Chapter 1: H.G. Wells (Paul F. Tompkins) welcomes painfully shy poetess Emily Dickinson (Andy Richter) to the stage of The Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre, Los Angeles. There are some minor sound problems. We're working on it. By Chapter 3, we'll all be laughing about this!

Transcript

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0:00.0	This Podcast is intended as Entertainment for Grownups and to spread awareness of 826 LA, a non-profit writing and tutoring center for children ages 6 to 18. For a full schedule of 826 LA's events and programs, including the Echo Park Time Travel Mart, visit 826L.org.
0:16.4	And now here is the host of the Dead Authors Podcast, Mr. H.G. Wells.
0:28.0	Greetings ladies and presumably gentlemen. I am H.G. Wells, the author of such fantastical novels as The War of the Worlds, The Island of Dr Moro, and The Invisible
0:36.0	Man. If you'll pardon my boastfulness, I am widely considered to be the father of the science
0:41.1	fiction genre. Some people might say I share this title with
0:44.8	Jules Verne. Those people are of course living garbage. I ask you, which is more imaginative?
0:51.3	A mad scientist who creates a potion that renders him invisible to the naked
0:55.4	eye or a man taking a balloon ride on a tight schedule.
0:59.8	In addition to those works of mine that I've already mentioned, I also wrote a novel called The Time Machine. But the Time Machine isn't merely a novel. As the old saying goes, you write what you know. And my novel, The Time machine was inspired by my possession of an actual
1:15.4	working craft that can travel through time and space.
1:19.2	No doubt you are now thinking H.G. Wells you can't have built a time machine. It's impossible. And you're right, of course.
1:26.4	You found me out? I haven't built a time machine. I found one. In a church jumble sale,
1:32.1	went looking for gently used anti-McCasas, came away with a
1:35.8	ballyed time machine. It pays to hunt for bargains. Fairly simple machine really,
1:40.7	a numbered dials, forwards, go, stop.
1:44.8	With it I can travel through both space and time anywhere in the world to any point in history,
1:49.9	any point in history at all.
1:52.0	So naturally I've chosen 21st century America. And may I say to you 21st century
1:59.3	Americans, good show. I am of course speaking with all the sarcasm my body can physically
2:06.0	withstand. You've really made an awful mess of things haven't you? But don't
2:10.2	worry for I have seen the future, it gets better.
2:15.0	Not for you, but for your children's children's children's children's children's children's
	...

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