Chapstick Lesbian (with Grace Kuhlenschmidt)

Keeping Records

Headgum

Comedy, Society & Culture, Places & Travel, Comedy Interviews, Documentary

5 • 726 Ratings

🗓️ 30 April 2021

⏱️ 59 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Comedian Grace Kuhlenschmidt realizes that her Golden Record is only for her—and that's ok. The aliens will take what they can and leave the rest. But truly, how could they leave the cookies? And she made that cocktail for them, would the aliens dare refuse? They will love quirky, early 2000s pop music. And hopefully the documentary teaches them to not put humans in tiny cages when they conquer us. Grace's Golden Record Hoku and Mandy Moore (audio) Blackfish (audio-visual) Quadratinis (food) Laying in warm grass (multisensory experience) Being tomboy (multisensory experience) Beeresca—a homemade cocktail recipe (food) Original Voyager Artifact "X-Ray of Hand" (image) Follow Grace! Twitter Instagram Follow the show @keepingrecordspod Advertise on Keeping Records via Gumball.fm See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Transcript

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0:00.0	This is a headgum original.
0:03.0	In 1977, NASA sent two solid gold records into space, so that aliens might find them and understand life on Earth.
0:20.0	I sent greetings on behalf of the people of our blend and friendly wishes to all who we encounter this voyager.
0:27.8	Now, we're making new records with our friends.
0:31.7	Good-jord, al-Moon.
0:32.8	We step out of our solar system into the universe seeking only peace and friendship.
0:43.2	We know full well that our planet and all its inhabitants are but a small part of this immense universe that surrounds us.
0:52.8	Hello from the children of planet Earth.
0:57.8	Well, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow.
1:07.5	Hey, Caleb.
1:10.4	How the H-E-Double L are you?
1:12.9	I'm good.
1:13.6	I have to tell you something that happened.
1:16.0	Okay.
1:17.1	So I went to the beach the other day with Lindsay.
1:23.3	We,
1:24.7	Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
1:26.8	You got to say.
1:28.0	Listeners, hey, y'all are going to love this.
1:30.3	This is one of the freakiest fucking things I've ever heard.
1:32.4	We went to San Diego for a day trip.
1:35.4	And we went to Black's Beach in San Diego,
	...

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