Hey there, podcast listener.

Have you ever been listening to Wizard and The Bruiser and thought to yourself,

I wish I could see just how fat Jake and Holden are in real life.

Don't lie, we know all about your weird inside thoughts, listeners.

Well, now you can make that dream a reality because WizBrew and Page 7 are going on tour.

Austin, Dallas, Milwaukee, Chicago, Minneapolis.

D.C., Philly, Brooklyn, San Francisco, L.A.

Nowhere is safe from an all-new show we're calling Release the Butthole Cut.

Ew. Come join your fellow LPN fans for a night of pop culture chaos that's fun for the whole family, assuming your family consists of equally broken weirdos in their 30s.

It's going to be a blast. Tickets are on sale right now at lastpodcastnetwork.com. Go, go now.

There's VIP meet and greet passes available as well in case you want to get, you know, a little extra close, especially personal.

I legally have to clarify that there is no sexual element involved.

I mean, unless, you know.

Okay, geez chick.

All right, stop winking, all right, buddy.

It's page seven and Wizard and the Bruiser live.

Go to lastpodcastnetwork.com for dates and tickets.

Music Hey, everybody. It's your horny boy wizard, Holder McNeely.

I just want to touch some boobs, but really, I want love?

Oh my God, a chainsaw is coming out of my face.

Oh, dear Lord.

And you, meddlesome humans, inferior beings, bow before me, your teenage girl, blood demon, wizard, Jake, aka Pawa.

...