So my question for you in this coaches corner episode is, are you too nice?

That may seem like a strange question because most of us would think that being nice is a wonderful

way to be, but sometimes we are too nice.

Don't get me wrong, I'm all for love, kindness, and generosity, yet I've noticed that

although niceness is very PC, it's not always authentic. We are often too nice when we want someone's

approval or acceptance. Or we long for someone to like us and think we're a good person.

Or when we're in the presence of someone who intimidates us or is in an

authority position or when we just want to avoid confrontation. I've seen

myself do this in romantic relationships, friendships, and even business

negotiations.

The result, externally I upheld the image of being a nice person, yet internally I left feeling

unfulfilled and like I settled for less than I deserved.

We think that being nice will get acceptance, approval, validation, or the peace we crave,

so we repress our honest feelings and expression.

So I'm asking you, can you relate to playing at nice when you actually feel dismissed, upset, not

seen or misunderstood in some way? A lot of us do this because it's scary to be vulnerable.

We put our concern about the other person's reaction or perception of us first.

We put on a happy face and pretend nothing is wrong hoping that our niceness will provide the experience

in a relationship we're seeking.

Playing nice may seem like a good idea at the time, but if it isn't real, it creates resentment.

Not only do we start to feel resentful towards someone else because we feel like a doormat,

we start to feel resentful towards ourselves by not speaking or truth.

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