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Thanks everybody, please have a seat.

Welcome.

Welcome.

All you goolees and goasties to the late show I'm your host, Stephen Colbert.

Happy Halloween America.

Happy Halloween America, it's a fun night for everybody.

And I just want to issue a quick public service message to all the kids out there, young people.

When you arrive at a stranger's house, remember you have to say trick or treat, or you get

nothing.

When kids come to my door and just hold out their bags silently, I say what do you say?

...