Hi there and welcome to Radio Headspace and to Wednesday, it's Eve here. I was with a friend

the other day whose marriage had sadly recently ended and unfortunately it was not an easy

breakup. Having been through a really bad breakup myself in the past, I knew how hard it was to

let go of that anger, that resentment, and I walked away from our conversation, reflecting on the

journey I'd gone through to put down a heavy bags of resentment that I was carrying. So much so

that I wanted to talk about it today, as I'm sure many folks have also felt resentment as well.

And resentment does not just show up in failed relationships, it can present itself in our daily lives.

It is a complex emotion, as the person who has mistreated you or treated you unfairly may not actually

think that they've done anything wrong, and it also comes down to whether the other person is

willing to take responsibility for their actions, and if they don't, this too can add

fuel to the fire of resentment. But where there is resentment, there is a reason for it being there.

So I think the first thing to say is just noticing and honouring that it's there. Try to be kind

to yourself as your feelings are valid. The only way to learn to let go of and process resentment

is to first understand where it's coming from and why, not to play over and over in your mind

the pain you've experienced. But to make sure, or at least to the best of your ability,

that you're protecting yourself from experiencing that same pain again. I know we can't always

control what happens, especially when other people are involved, but it can at least help us to

set some boundaries and to be clear about what we need. And I appreciate that it really depends

on what's happened. So please only do what feels comfortable for you. I am just sharing some

things that worked for me in the past, when I've struggled with resentment. I would say if you feel

safe to do so, have a conversation with the person or people that have caused you to feel resentment,

and explain why you're feeling the way that you are. When I did this, the person who I spoke to

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